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| Topic Started: Aug 26 2007, 11:18 AM (287 Views) | |
| oldVidel2 | Aug 26 2007, 11:18 AM Post #1 |
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Lurker
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Character you wish to be: Cooler, if not Videl or Yajirobe. Planet you want to start on: Earth How did you find this site: Top 25 dbs sites What makes you want to join and how long do you plan on staying: For ever, or just till i can't become active anymore, which won't happen. AIM Screen Name (required): Oguzman007 Email (required): Killerboy43@hotmail.com Name registered on forums (required): Killer Please include a small example of a roleplay that you might have done in the past. Must be above 300 words. (Required) Cooler was flying to his trainer that day. The young changeling arrived to his trainer's Dojo, and they both started to medatite and a training. The meditating was pretty boring then Cooler heard a strange noise. Cooler and the trainer went to the cash-desk. A few evil Saiyans arrived at the Dojo and they were up to no good. "What do you want" the trainer said. "What i want?" I want you dead changelings! The Saiyan said. the trainer and Cooler were ready to battle and those Saiyans were pretty good for a bunch of Saiyans. The battle heated up and Cooler was no match for the Saiyans, but there was a chance that the trainer could beat them all up. The Saiyans fired an Energy Blast and Cooler tried to defend him self but Cooler was out-classed by the Saiyans. The blast hurt Cooler to much that Cooler could not fight anymore, Cooler was useless now. "Leave now Cooler, i'll handle this by myself! Cooler flew behind a tree because Cooler wanted to see the battle. The trainer was a really strong and smart fighter, but not strong enough to beat the three Saiyans that fought him. He pulled some awesome moves, but he could not even kill/beat 1 of those Saiyans, it was to terrible, Cooler couln't watch it but Cooler had to. He was killed with no mercy, it was horrible how they killed his trainer. His tears were falling on the ground from his face, Cooler couln't stop crying, his trainer was his best and only friend Cooler had. Since then, Cooler hates Saiyans and every other living thing except for Changelings. Cooler trains to kill every other Saiyan of the Saiyan-race and to take over the Universe! |
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| OldGohan2 | Aug 26 2007, 12:33 PM Post #2 |
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Member
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Omfg, insta decline, 294 Words!!!!! Hahah joking. Sounds good, although you might wanna try and break up that sample in smaller paragraphs. It's good but you might wanna put in stuff like speach marks, commas ect. |
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| oldVidel2 | Aug 26 2007, 12:36 PM Post #3 |
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Lurker
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Okay, then hold on and i'll edit it ^^ |
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| OldGohan2 | Aug 26 2007, 12:42 PM Post #4 |
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Member
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Much better, still a couple of things needing change. I just skimmed through it and noticed one little bit of speech, but nothing major, Very good. Good luck on Getting in Cooler/Videl/FatManWhoOwnedVegeta |
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| oldVidel2 | Aug 26 2007, 12:45 PM Post #5 |
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Lurker
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Yeah.. I just did this quick in like a minute... Or two minutes lol...
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| typhoonchaos | Aug 26 2007, 03:13 PM Post #6 |
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Saiyajin Space Pirate
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You're using your character's name far too much as opposed to the pronoun "he." And you're not gonna end up being Cooler. Because it's already pinned that someone is going to be him. |
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| oldVidel2 | Aug 27 2007, 06:00 AM Post #7 |
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Lurker
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Are you saying i'm using "he" to much or the character's name? And am i accepted or what? |
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| Oldvegeta2 | Aug 27 2007, 06:21 AM Post #8 |
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Angel of Death
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I think Turles meant you use your character's name far too much....
You have to wait until Zarbon accepts you, he just moved so he's been kind of busy. He'll add you if he thinks your RP is good enough, good luck. Also, the reason you might not have been accepted yet is, Zarbon has already accepted someone as Cooler, so you'll need to select a different character. |
<CENTER><![]() <select><option>Prince Vegeta</option><option>Power Level: 5,064</option><option>KI: 2,532</option><option>Strength: 716</option><option>Speed: 655</option><option>Toughness: 660</option><option>Stamina: 584</option><option>Vitality: 572</option><option>Zeni: 8,850</option></CENTER>[ | |
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| oldVidel2 | Aug 27 2007, 07:25 AM Post #9 |
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Lurker
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Okay, thanks. And for the character:
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| Alex | Aug 27 2007, 11:31 AM Post #10 |
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Officer of the Damaskian Army
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AIM me. |
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All-time ADBZRPG battle record: 86 - 4 Winner of Best Saga Thread of 2011 (Shard of Lujati) Winner of RP of the Season Summer 2017 (The Village of Kulley) | |
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4:33 AM Jul 11