Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to Alex's DBZ RPG 5 Forum. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Locked Topic
Joining
Topic Started: Aug 26 2007, 11:18 AM (287 Views)
oldVidel2
Lurker
Character you wish to be: Cooler, if not Videl or Yajirobe.

Planet you want to start on: Earth

How did you find this site: Top 25 dbs sites

What makes you want to join and how long do you plan on staying: For ever, or just till i can't become active anymore, which won't happen.

AIM Screen Name (required): Oguzman007

Email (required): Killerboy43@hotmail.com

Name registered on forums (required): Killer

Please include a small example of a roleplay that you might have done in the past. Must be above 300 words. (Required)

Cooler was flying to his trainer that day. The young changeling arrived to his trainer's Dojo, and they both started to medatite and a training. The meditating was pretty boring then Cooler heard a strange noise. Cooler and the trainer went to the cash-desk. A few evil Saiyans arrived at the Dojo and they were up to no good.

"What do you want" the trainer said. "What i want?" I want you dead changelings! The Saiyan said. the trainer and Cooler were ready to battle and those Saiyans were pretty good for a bunch of Saiyans. The battle heated up and Cooler was no match for the Saiyans, but there was a chance that the trainer could beat them all up. The Saiyans fired an Energy Blast and Cooler tried to defend him self but Cooler was out-classed by the Saiyans. The blast hurt Cooler to much that Cooler could not fight anymore, Cooler was useless now. "Leave now Cooler, i'll handle this by myself!

Cooler flew behind a tree because Cooler wanted to see the battle. The trainer was a really strong and smart fighter, but not strong enough to beat the three Saiyans that fought him. He pulled some awesome moves, but he could not even kill/beat 1 of those Saiyans, it was to terrible, Cooler couln't watch it but Cooler had to. He was killed with no mercy, it was horrible how they killed his trainer. His tears were falling on the ground from his face, Cooler couln't stop crying, his trainer was his best and only friend Cooler had. Since then, Cooler hates Saiyans and every other living thing except for Changelings. Cooler trains to kill every other Saiyan of the Saiyan-race and to take over the Universe!
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
OldGohan2
Member Avatar
Member
Omfg, insta decline, 294 Words!!!!! Hahah joking. Sounds good, although you might wanna try and break up that sample in smaller paragraphs.

It's good but you might wanna put in stuff like speach marks, commas ect.
Posted Image
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
oldVidel2
Lurker
Okay, then hold on and i'll edit it ^^
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
OldGohan2
Member Avatar
Member
Much better, still a couple of things needing change. I just skimmed through it and noticed one little bit of speech, but nothing major, Very good. Good luck on Getting in Cooler/Videl/FatManWhoOwnedVegeta
Posted Image
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
oldVidel2
Lurker
Yeah.. I just did this quick in like a minute... Or two minutes lol... :blink:
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
typhoonchaos
Member Avatar
Saiyajin Space Pirate
You're using your character's name far too much as opposed to the pronoun "he."

And you're not gonna end up being Cooler. Because it's already pinned that someone is going to be him.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
oldVidel2
Lurker
Are you saying i'm using "he" to much or the character's name?

And am i accepted or what?
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Oldvegeta2
Member Avatar
Angel of Death
I think Turles meant you use your character's name far too much....

Quote:
 
You're using your character's name far too much as opposed to the pronoun "he."


You have to wait until Zarbon accepts you, he just moved so he's been kind of busy. He'll add you if he thinks your RP is good enough, good luck.

Also, the reason you might not have been accepted yet is, Zarbon has already accepted someone as Cooler, so you'll need to select a different character.
<CENTER><Posted Image
<select><option>Prince Vegeta</option><option>Power Level: 5,064</option><option>KI: 2,532</option><option>Strength: 716</option><option>Speed: 655</option><option>Toughness: 660</option><option>Stamina: 584</option><option>Vitality: 572</option><option>Zeni: 8,850</option></CENTER>[
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
oldVidel2
Lurker
Okay, thanks.

And for the character:
Quote:
 
Character you wish to be: Cooler, if not Videl
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Alex
Member Avatar
Officer of the Damaskian Army
Administrator
AIM me.
All-time ADBZRPG battle record: 86 - 4

Winner of Best Saga Thread of 2011 (Shard of Lujati)

Winner of RP of the Season Summer 2017 (The Village of Kulley)
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
« Previous Topic · Join · Next Topic »
Locked Topic

RPG Chat RPG-D RPGfix eXTReMe Tracker

Back to Alex's DBZ RPG | Back to Main Forum

Black Water created by tiptopolive of the Zetaboards Theme Zone