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Joining As Dende
Topic Started: Sep 9 2007, 12:27 AM (403 Views)
dende112
Lurker
like the title says i am joining as dende if i need to put more info i will edit this post.


Character you wish to be:Dende i heard that future gohan hasn't been on in ages if i can be him that would be great.

Planet you want to start on: namek/earth if im sayain

(For Saiyans) Fighting Style you wish to have: balanced (if i am future gohan)

(For Aliens) Stat you wish increased by +5: intellegince

How did you find this site:google

What makes you want to join and how long do you plan on staying:i want to join because i think rpging is fun

AIM Screen Name (required):firestormelnegm

Email (required):shehab_redfalcon@hotmail.com

Name registered on forums (required):dende112

Please include a small example of a roleplay that you might have done in the past. Must be above 300 words. (Required)





Dende was alone in the desert or at least he thought he was alone. He had a feeling something weird was following him all day, but whenever he turned around nothing was there. Dende kept walking till he saw a human boy on the verge of death.He healed him with his powers and gave him some of his water but he was still pretty beat up. Dende set up a tent in that spot that night and waited for the boy to gain concinuess. He asked him who did this too him but he could not answer. He was too terrified. Dende was trying to keep an eye on him all night but he dozed off.When he woke up the next day he found he was gone but he saw his footsteps and followed them until he came to a cave. The footsteps had led in there but he was too afraid to even walk into the darkness.

i modified it
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typhoonchaos
Member Avatar
Saiyajin Space Pirate
You've got potential, but there are some things that need help.

1 - Third Person

All of your role plays should be in the third person in past tense (he/she blocked the punch, ect).

2 - You need to elaborate more.

Add details. You managed to skip over an entire night in one sentance, but that would usually take two or three, moving into getting in bed, eyelids getting heavy, drifting off, and the like. Same is done later when you say that you discover and follow the boy's footsteps.

3 - Capitalization.

Capitalize all proper nouns (places that are important, people's names, special objects with special names) and capitalize the letter "I" when using it alone, and capitalize the first letter of every sentence.

4 - Dialog and Thought.

Most of the time, our characters talk. Be it mumbling to oneself, shouting when they stub their toe, and other things. Also, characters are always thinking. This can usually be expressed with the italics tool.

5 - Paragraphs.

You should separate dialog by using paragraphs, skipping lines, and some people even color it differently. Each paragraph pertains to one single topic, as sentences do to one thought. When you shift gears from finding the boy to seeing him jump up and escape, you should make a new paragraph.
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dende112
Lurker
dude it was 12 oclock at night so i wasn't that concentrated
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dende112
Lurker
besides i think roleplaying should be in first person because role playing is when you play as another person so u should go in first person. third person is basically someone watching from the sidelines.


OK i get it i looked at other peoples rpgs.
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dende112
Lurker
<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/wCF3ywukQYA">
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dende112
Lurker
ok its been like a friggin month this shows me that this site is crap
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nirvana
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Supreme Member
Or maybe you blow at Role Playing, you Twat.
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