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Jion As Bebi; plz can i
Topic Started: Dec 18 2007, 04:41 PM (312 Views)
eternalpower
Unregistered

can i jion as bebi

Character you wish to be: bebi (on your list)

Planet i want to start at:Earth



How did u find this site: looking for a site like this and i found it


What makes you want to join and how long do you plan on staying:i love dbz and im not planning on leaving


AIM Screen Name (required): Bebi


Email (required): fran77dawlish@hotmail.com


Name registered on forums (required):Bebi

Bebi woke suddenly; peering around the room he saw nothing familiar. The room was well lit a smell of blood hung over it to the left a large machine covered in blood dominated most of the space and to the right B
ebi could not see anything. He looked towards his hands and saw that he was held by a series of thick metal chains. He snapped them with a light struggle and stood up.

“I feel strange; powerless… I can’t remember… I must find answers,” Bebi thought to himself.

Bebi walked towards the door a few feet away from the machine that had caught his eye. He threw himself into it creating a large dent. Annoyed he raised his hands and launched tow balls into the door blowing it open. He walked out into a circular hallway and turned toward a door inches to the left of his own. He kicked hard into the door smashing it down with more ease then the first. Once inside Bebi moved toward a creature chained as he had been. Grabbing the chains he ripped them off the wall and helped the creature on its feet.

“Do you know why were here?” asked Bebi.

“Don’t you remember me?” the creature asked back.

“I’m sorry but I have absolutely no memory up until now,” Bebi replied “But I must know why we are here!”

“My names Zoya, now is not the time to explain,” said the creature “We’ve got to get out now!”

Bebi with out saying a word moved toward the door Zoya following close behind. Zoya pointed left and Zoya turned into the end of the hall he opened the door and peered out. He walked outside the frozen barrens around him was deserted for miles this small building was the only sign of civilization. Zoya passed Bebi.

“It’s been a long time two years since our capture,” Zoya said.

Before Bebi could reply a man dropped in front of him wearing a pair of strong combat pants and a suit of metallic armour his hair was long and light yellow falling to his feet at his side was a set of long swords.

“You're not going anywhere yet,” said the man, “were not finished with you.”

“Who are you why am I here?” Bebi demanded, “give me answers!”

That moment was silent, Bebi saw the man draw his sword out. The sword's blade was a scarlet red colour. The ground started to tremble beneath the feet of the three warriors.


“Give me answers i must know tell me NOW!!!” Bebi sied


soz about spelling mistakes plz can i jion plz reply soon i check once a day to see if im a member
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OldZorn3
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Erm you need to make a 300 word long rp so they will probaly wont reply if you dont make it
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Thanks to Cooler for this
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eternalpower
Unregistered

Boku,Dec 18 2007
04:44 PM
Erm you need to make a 300 word long rp so they will probaly wont reply if you dont make it

kk i will

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OldZorn3
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eternalpower,Dec 19 2007
12:23 PM
Boku,Dec 18 2007
04:44 PM
Erm you need to make a 300 word long rp so they will probaly wont reply if you dont make it

kk i will

Dude first of all you just said what happened in the anime, what you have to do is to make up something that happened because even though we use dbz characters we make up stories(logical storys), something you can do is make a story like that bebi came back because someone made him come back or something.

Check out other people's forms to see some examples of what you have to do, but not mine because its about a made up character.
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Thanks to Cooler for this
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disgraced hbk
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The Living Hell
also it sucked. It talked about gettin AIDS from Goku.
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Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
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eternalpower
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Now plz tell me if ive passed k

(l_ l) bunny says pls say yes
(^^)
(v v)
U U
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Truedog12
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Tale-Spinner
Looks like you have some talent. But there are alot of grammar errors that will frusterate readers when they try to read.

First of all, you need to capitalize some words. Take this sentence that you used, for example;

Quote:
 
"give me answers i most know tell me now” bebi sied


Not only are there un-capitalized words, there are some words spelt wrong. That sentence would look so much better if you did it like this;

Quote:
 
"Give me answers, I must know, tell me now!" yelled Bebi.


i's, when reffering to something, like 'I am', need to be capitalized. Names and first words of a sentence need to be as well.

You also need to learn how to use commas. They are great to use when you are describing a bunch of things. For example, the saiyan was buff, tall, and ugly. So your second to last sentence needs alot of commas and also has some other errors.

Quote:
 
that moment was silent bebi saw the man draw hes sord out the sord was a scarlet red colour the ground started to tremble.


Should look something like this;

Quote:
 
That moment was silent, Bebi saw the man draw his sword out. The sword's blade was a scarlet red color. The ground started to tremble beneath the feet of the three warriors.


That flows so much better with commas and periods, instead of being a long strip of text.

Remember that this is a Text Based RPG, so it is based off of writing.
Planet Hounds thirst for blood. You can't run or hide, so don't even think about fighting.
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eternalpower
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can plz tell me if i can jion :blink:
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Truedog12
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eternalpower,Dec 21 2007
04:34 PM
can plz tell me if i can jion :blink:

You need to still work on your writing skills, which can be helped if you type your RPs out on Microsoft Word which has Spell Check. I say this because you still mispell some words.

Only Zarbon can say if you're accepted or not though.
Planet Hounds thirst for blood. You can't run or hide, so don't even think about fighting.
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eternalpower
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can u ask him if i can i jion

looked on microsoft word no more spelling problems i can find
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eternalpower
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and how do u make ure sig picture
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Bebi (Baby)
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DNT GIVE ME THE ANSWER THIS IS MY OLD ACOUNT I CHANGED EMAIL TO THE WRONG THING I CAN LOG ONTO ACOUNT BUT CANT REPLY SO THIS IS MY NEW ACOUNT
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Bebi (Baby)
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:blink: All Replys On( Jion As Bebi New ) :blink:
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Seifer
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Break Stuff
Its amazing how many times you have managed to spell 'Join' incorrectly.
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Bebi (Baby)
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ok i cant spell join right lol i just read it and join spelt wrong x100
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