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Guru's Soup; Easy Quest
Topic Started: Jan 17 2008, 04:56 AM (182 Views)
shen
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The Light Within Darkness
Guru's Soup
Difficulty: Easy
Description: Everyday, Guru has a bowl of fish soup, it is what gives him the energy to share his wisdom and lead his people. The recipe was stolen and Guru's leading has grown to a halt. Find the soup.
Reward: +400 zeni, +2 DP, +10 all stats, +1 Rp Credits
Available: Always
Special: Guru will give you 3 extra DP for helping him.
Posted Image

<CENTER><select><option>Dabura</option><option>Level: 12</option><option>EXP: 140</option><option>Location: Vegeta</option><option>Stats</option><option>Power Level: 12110</option><option>KI: 6055</option><option>Strength: 1545</option><option>Speed: 1432</option><option>Toughness: 1500</option><option>Stamina: 1496</option><option>Vitality: 1514</option><option>Zeni: 835</option></CENTER>
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shen
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The Light Within Darkness
(Warning: This following quest will have shit that makes no sense whatsoever...but it will border between insanity and logic)

Dabura was flying around aimlessly before deciding on asking the elder for another task. Settling himself with his decision, the demon noticed a crowd of Nameks chasing something that appeared to be skipping along the road. Not bothering to wonder how the hell asexual Namekians were chasing a person as though they wanted to make like rabbits, the demon flew to the house before hearing a shriek that sounded like it came from a 12 year old girl.

Quickly rushing to the scene, the demon flew in to find the elder with his hands to his head, screaming in a tone that would have put many female opera singers to shame. "WHERE OH WHERE IS MY SOUP, THOU MUST FIND THY SOUP AND RETURN IT SO THAT I MAY CLUTCH IT TO MY BOSOM BEFORE DRINKING THY SOUP!" shrieked the elder. Dabura could only stare at the elder.

"Uh...can anyone tell me what's wrong?" asked the demon, trying to ignore the shrieking wails of the elder about his damn soup, as the glass window shattered. "Well, every day, the elder drinks a recipe of fish soup..." started a guard before the demon laughed.

"Everyone knows that Nameks can't eat solids, don't you only drink water?" The guard nodded. "Yes, normally we only drink water, but I'm sure you've noticed our elder's weight problem..." started the Namek only to be cut off by Dabura again.
"Weight problem? The guy is fricking fat alright, don't mince words just because he nearly busted my eardrums, get on with it."

The Namek sighed, what was wrong with everyone today? First the stampeding group of Nameks, the missing cook, Guru wailing and now a badass demon.
"Well anyways, anything a Namek eats automatically comes out in an hour or so. Guru takes this soup and drinks it both to try to lose weight by excreting it out as well as having enough energy to progress with the day. However, not getting this soup has the odd effect of releasing estrogen and progesterone into his body..." started the Namek only to be cut off by the demon again.

"I told you not to mince words, how the heck am I meant to know what 'estrogen' or 'progesterone' are? In English!" The Namek sighed. He really was pissed off today.

"Not drinking the soup causes the elder to turn into a hormonal female."

The demon stared. Then looked at the elder then turned back to the guard. And promptly broke down in laughter. The Namek simply twitched before bonking the demon on the head.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY! NOW FIND THE RECIPE OR I'LL CUT YOUR BALLS OFF!" The demon was out of the room as soon as the words 'cut' and 'balls' came into play.
Posted Image

<CENTER><select><option>Dabura</option><option>Level: 12</option><option>EXP: 140</option><option>Location: Vegeta</option><option>Stats</option><option>Power Level: 12110</option><option>KI: 6055</option><option>Strength: 1545</option><option>Speed: 1432</option><option>Toughness: 1500</option><option>Stamina: 1496</option><option>Vitality: 1514</option><option>Zeni: 835</option></CENTER>
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shen
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The Light Within Darkness
Dabura was flying along, on his merry way, when a cat suddenly flew past him, nearly scratching his eyes out. "Why the f*** is there a stupid cat trying to claw out my eyeballs!" He continued to fly for a few seconds before a whole bunch of cats landed on the demon, scratching at his clothes.

"Why the hell are there so many flying cats attacking me!" shouted Dabura throwing the cats up into the air before blasting the felines into dust, the dust flying into his eyes, up his nose and into his mouth. The said demon started choking from the hair and dust.

"CURSES, EVEN IN DEATH THE FELINES DARE AGGRAVATE ME!" coughed Dabura before letting loose a black hairball. "I SWEAR I WILL CUT DOWN EVERY SINGLE CAT IN THIS ACCURSED UNIVERSE!" Meanwhile, back on Earth a certain white cat wielding a staff sneezed violently for some odd reason, despite always eating senzu beans to stay healthy.

The demon then looked down and saw a skipping boy with flame-shaped hair running along, picking up cats before throwing them into space, where they would die from lack of oxygen. Immediately Dabura's mind was clouded and he could only think one thing:

"THAT GUY IS SO DAMN SEXY!" Immediately, the demon flew down and hugged the half-saiyan tightly before letting go and jumping up and down.

"May I please join you on your quest to kill every stupid cat in the universe, your sexiness?" The child nodded cheering before continuing in his rampage of killing the cats. The demon took out his sword and joined in the massacre of the kittys.

Eventually, when Dabura had no energy left to skip anymore, he departed and continued his search, despite wanting to stay near VJ's sexiness, and kill more stupid cats that were everywhere.
Posted Image

<CENTER><select><option>Dabura</option><option>Level: 12</option><option>EXP: 140</option><option>Location: Vegeta</option><option>Stats</option><option>Power Level: 12110</option><option>KI: 6055</option><option>Strength: 1545</option><option>Speed: 1432</option><option>Toughness: 1500</option><option>Stamina: 1496</option><option>Vitality: 1514</option><option>Zeni: 835</option></CENTER>
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shen
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The Light Within Darkness
After searching the whole planet surface, and asking every single person on the planet where he could find the recipe, excluding the people he had already asked and met, Dabura had finally come to a conclusion.

The recipe wasn't anywhere.

The demon was ready to get the dragonballs and make a wish to just summon the accursed recipe, as well as for every cat to suddenly be turned into mutilated corpses before deciding to go back and tell the elder of his failure first. Unfortunately, the demon had forgotten that there was a certain threat hanging over his head regarding the loss of what made him a man. However, the demon had too many thoughts of mutilating cats to remember that certain promise.

So it was when the demon came back that he saw an angry guard wielding what looked like a rubber ring in one hand, and a serrated knife in the other hand. It was then that Dabura remembered what the guard had sworn to do if he failed. The demon immediately jumped over the guard and ran, planning to plead with the elder so that he wouldn't lose his manhood. Unfortunately, fate had other plans for the elder.

Said elder had grown a pair of C-sized assets, had sprouted long blonde hair, and was now currently singing the song 'Oops I Did It Again', by Britney Spears, despite never having heard it before or having a radio...in short, the demon was stumped, before a voice in the back of his head told him to jump to the side, barely avoiding the knife that had been aimed to swing up between his legs.

"Oh shit, someone help me!" shouted Dabura running around the room while placing his hands in front of what made him a man with the angry guard hot on his heels, before Dabura stepped into something icky. Despite the voices telling him not to look down, he did....

"Oh shit, I STEPPED IN SHIT!" shouted Dabura unnecessarily while the angry guard drew closer. It was then that the demon noticed something in the excretion...

"Is that the recipe?"
Posted Image

<CENTER><select><option>Dabura</option><option>Level: 12</option><option>EXP: 140</option><option>Location: Vegeta</option><option>Stats</option><option>Power Level: 12110</option><option>KI: 6055</option><option>Strength: 1545</option><option>Speed: 1432</option><option>Toughness: 1500</option><option>Stamina: 1496</option><option>Vitality: 1514</option><option>Zeni: 835</option></CENTER>
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shen
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The Light Within Darkness
The guard abruptly stopped and looked down at where Dabura's white boots were covered in Guru's...crap and saw a white piece of paper slightly visible among the soggy mess. "THAT IS THE RECIPE, YOU'VE SAVED US ALL!" said the guard happily, hugging the demon, who protested as the blade was still dangerously close to his...

"Well anyways, does that mean I don't get castrated?" asked Dabura nervously slowly backing away from the still happy guard.

"Of course you don't, you will be rewarded for saving this planet. Now, there's only one thing...who's going to get it out?" The demon glanced at the guard, who stared at Dabura in return. Both then pointed their fingers at each other in unison.

"You're doing it!"

Both sighed and thought about how they would decide who would stick their hand in the crap and take out the note. Suddenly, the guard spoke up.
"I got it, pick a number between 1 and 10. Whoever picks the lowest number has to get the note." Both immediately shouted 10...at the same time. They tried again, only to keep on simultaneously saying 10.

The guard was fed up with the demon by now.

"Why don't you get it, you're the elder's apprentice!" shot the guard.
"Well why don't you get it, you're meant to protect him!" retorted Dabura.
"Hey, if the elder doesn't eat, its not my fault. Besides, its your fault for not keeping balance in this place!"
"My fault? He didn't drink his soup! You're the guard, you're meant to ensure the safety of his life! If anything, this is your fault!"
"Now, now boys, why don't you just both do it?" asked Guru.
"SHUT UP!" shouted both at the elder, who promptly broke into tears.

"Now look what you've done!" shouted the guard.
"Me? You told your own elder to shut up!"
"So did you!"
"Has anyone seen the recipe?" asked the cook. Both the guard and the demon turned to see the Namekian wearing a white apron, then looked back to each other and nodded, smirking.

"The recipe's over here cook!" shouted Dabura. The cook walked over to the duo.
"But first," started the guard. "You have to close your eyes, because the recipe is a bit damaged, and you'll want to see it after we fix it. It's currently in a...magical healing ointment that will fix it. So we have to direct you as to where to go."

The cook was confused but nodded before closing his eyes, and holding out his hand. Both the demon and the guard nodded before grabbing the cook's arm, allowing to stretch as they dug it into the crap, ignoring the cook's voice of protest that the crap was really hot. They got the cook's hands onto the recipe before pulling his hand out, as his arm shrunk to normal size.

"Alright, you can open your eyes now," said both in unison. The cook obeyed.

"AHHH! MY HAND IS COVERED IN MY ELDER'S SHIT!!!"
Posted Image

<CENTER><select><option>Dabura</option><option>Level: 12</option><option>EXP: 140</option><option>Location: Vegeta</option><option>Stats</option><option>Power Level: 12110</option><option>KI: 6055</option><option>Strength: 1545</option><option>Speed: 1432</option><option>Toughness: 1500</option><option>Stamina: 1496</option><option>Vitality: 1514</option><option>Zeni: 835</option></CENTER>
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shen
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The Light Within Darkness
This time, BOTH the guard and Dabura were backing away from a Namek with a knife, in this case, a cook brandishing a heavy butcher's knife, covered in red blood. "You see cook, we...had to use you to get the recipe, I mean, it is your recipe!" started the guard before ducking under a swipe from the cook.

"What I don't get is how the recipe got into the soup in the first place..." started Dabura before he jumped over a horizontal swipe aimed once again at his manhood. "WHY MUST EVERYONE ALWAYS AIM AT MY NUTS! I SWEAR I'M WEARING A CUP FROM NOW ON!"

"My hand is covered in shit, what did you think I'd do? Pick flowers for you?"
The demon thought about if for a second. "With which hand?" Dabura then jumped sideways over another swipe aimed low.

"Hey its your fault!" started the guard. "You dropped it into the soup!" The cook realised this before dropping to his knees. "I'm so sorry, I DIDN'T REALISE IT WAS ACTUALLY MY FAULT ALL ALONG!" cried out the cook, slapping his hands to his forehead, covering the top part of his head in more crap....

"Uh...wasn't he just trying to kill us?" asked Dabura.
"Everyone on this damn planet is crazy...except us that is," said the guard. Dabura simply stared at him.

"You are aware about 10 minutes ago you tried to cut off my balls right?" The guard waved his hands sheepishly before retorting.
"You try spending nearly 5 hours listening to that!" replied the guard referring to Guru's singing.

"Uh, I got sidetracked by Vegeta Jr, so I would've got here faster..." started Dabura only to watch as the cook went red from...blushing?

"OHH, VJ IS SO SEXY. I was cooking the soup this morning when he skipped by holding a cat and I just fell over from his sexiness! I MUST FIND MY SEXY IDOL!" shouted the cook leaving the room. Both Dabura and the guard looked at each other, then still realised the recipe was here., which was good. They both came to one conclusion.

"Everyone on this damn planet is crazy."


**************
Finished
Posted Image

<CENTER><select><option>Dabura</option><option>Level: 12</option><option>EXP: 140</option><option>Location: Vegeta</option><option>Stats</option><option>Power Level: 12110</option><option>KI: 6055</option><option>Strength: 1545</option><option>Speed: 1432</option><option>Toughness: 1500</option><option>Stamina: 1496</option><option>Vitality: 1514</option><option>Zeni: 835</option></CENTER>
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