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All Your Own Stunts; Medium Quest (COMPLETED)
Topic Started: Oct 6 2008, 05:51 PM (225 Views)
Old Goku
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All Your Own Stunts

Difficulty: Medium

Description:
Your super powers have impressed a famed movie producer. He asks you to meet him at lunch to discuss making a movie with you as the main star. You would use your amazing abilities to dazzle the big screen with realistic images instead of that fake CGI bull-shat. After being hired you are whisked away onto set.

But it's not what you expected. Your director is a tyrant. Figure out a way to deal with his perfectionism and make a damn good movie!

Reward:+700 zeni, +5 DP, +30 all stats, +3 Rp Credits

Available: Always


~~~~~~~~~~~~L~E~Z~~~~~B~E~G~I~N~!~!~!~!~!~~~~~~~~~~~~

His hair swung in long locks, sweat beading his body, dripping down in rivulets. His right arm was wrapped tightly around the slim waist of the beautiful girl, holding on for dear life, her head draped back dramatically at the dangers that faced them. The man raced his palm, screaming, "THIS IS FOR DAD!!!!!"

Nothing happened. Everyone on the set began to giggle, and in spite of their binding contract, the actors on-screen began to giggle too.

"CUT!!" a voice yelled. A short man with bow legs rumbled towards the man and woman actor. "You two know that you're in a binding contract!" A short, hairy finger popped out of the expensive Milan suit, adorned with multiple rings. "You know what that means, don't you?"

"Um, no -" the couple began.

"You're . . . FIRED!!!" the sadistic director screamed, leaping around like a demented leprechaun and laughing hysterically. Looking at each other, then at the director strangely, the couple left the set, discussing what they would do tonight. Needless to say, it's implied heavily what was going to happen, so it won't be mentioned here.

The director then plopped himself in his seat, motioning impatiently. A woman ran up to him with a chilled bottle of water, upon which he ripped the cap off and drank greedily. While he did so, he thought, Dammit! I'm never going to make a good movie if I can't get serious actors!

"What the hell am I going to do?" he wondered aloud. Normally, most of the people there knew that when the boss talked to himself, they were to continue with their normal routine. One new recruit however ran up to him, showing him a newspaper.

"Boss! Look at this! It talks about this hero, some guy named Goku, who can supposedly actually do all the CGI stuff!"

"Never - interrupt - wait, what did you say?" the boss stopped himself sharply. Grabbing the newspaper, a smile grew on his face. He gestured towards the new recruit, who was looking hopefully at the boss.

"You're fired too. Don't interrupt my rhetorical nonsense." Then, ignoring his shocked look, he got out of his chair and began to rumble towards the door. He had a hero to find.
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<SELECT style="background-color: #920909; color: #000000; font-family: Matura MT Script Capitals; font-size: 14px; width: 200px; "><br /><OPTION>Goku</OPTION><br /><OPTION>MR: Keliouxan High Marshal</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Location: Space</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Power Level: 67,056</OPTION><br /></SELECT></div>
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Now at the time, the particular Saiyan in the spotlight was literally in a spotlight. However, it was not the kind of spotlight that most people wanted to be in, unless they wanted a career in crime. Zooming along the highways of Singapore, he shouted frantically, "It wasn't me! I don't want to hurt you! Look, he's getting away - OW!"

A bullet, traveling at 3,000 feet per second smashed into the Saiyan's back, pushing him down a couple of feet. Incredulously, the police watched as he flew even higher, his arms glowing with an unearthly power. All the cars halted against their will, and even as the drivers pressed their feet as hard as they could on the pedal, their cars only succeeded in bumping up and down in the same spot, the rubber on the tires continually wearing off with their prolonged friction against the gravel.

Scared now, the helicopter pilot pressed the emergency situation button, deploying a missile that flew straight at the Saiyan, faster than the normal eye could see. The police woman on board cried out, "Wait! We're not supposed to -"

A huge explosion lit up the night sky, sending scraps of metal plunging down towards te ground, embedding themselves in the highway. A particular man gasped, horrified as he realized his newly-purchased Ferrari now had a fetching piece of iron that went through the entire height of the car. Screaming incoherently, he ran in circles until a tranquilizer penetrated his neck, sending him into a peaceful stupor.

"BEAUTIFUL!" a deep voice boomed from the highway. With the police and Goku glancing down simultaneously, a small man emerged from a long limousine, clapping his hands. "Amazing! I thought the papers were lying!" Pointing his finger straight at Goku, he yelled, "You sir, have the true makings of an actor! How'd you like to come with me and make movie history?"
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<SELECT style="background-color: #920909; color: #000000; font-family: Matura MT Script Capitals; font-size: 14px; width: 200px; "><br /><OPTION>Goku</OPTION><br /><OPTION>MR: Keliouxan High Marshal</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Location: Space</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Power Level: 67,056</OPTION><br /></SELECT></div>
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"Uh . . . what's goin' on?" Goku asked uncertainly, the light from his arms slowly fading as it drew back into his body. The cops also lowered their weapons albeit reluctantly, watching the scene with hawk eyes in case this was an accomplice for the villain.

"You wanna be an actor?" the director said enthusiastically, elbowing the Saiyan much harder than he should have been. Goku didn't notice though, and after the third elbow, the director withdrew, rubbing his now-bruised elbow. Noticing his bulging muscles, the small man grunted noticeably and halted all physical attempts, realizing that even if he didn't mean to, this man could send him flying possibly out of the state.

"Hmm . . . yeah, I'd love to be an actor," concluded Goku after a bit of thinking. "But, I don't really think that I'm qualified . . ?"

"That doesn't matter in the slightest!" Now the epitome of happiness, the director grinned and begun to propel the confused Saiyan, who had just landed on the ground. "Come on, I'll quickly tutor you in the limo, then we can get to the acting! Can you, like, control your energy so that you can make it into forms and stuff?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Incredible!" the director clapped. "So, no CGI shit, right? We just have to film it with our high-definition cameras, and BAM! Perfect effect movie?!?"

"I assume so," said Goku, thinking that the events were quickly spiraling into his control. Filling up a large wine cup with vodka, the director stopped in his joyful rantings and eyed him carefully.

"That's the wine cup, not the vodka shot," he said. Goku ignored him and downed the entire cup, then once again, downing the entire bottle. As the director gaped at him, Goku smiled and wiped his mouth. The Saiyan inner body could tolerate a much higher level of alcohol than a normal human being, so this was like a tiny sip of beer to him.
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<SELECT style="background-color: #920909; color: #000000; font-family: Matura MT Script Capitals; font-size: 14px; width: 200px; "><br /><OPTION>Goku</OPTION><br /><OPTION>MR: Keliouxan High Marshal</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Location: Space</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Power Level: 67,056</OPTION><br /></SELECT></div>
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"So, where we headin' after this?" he asked, grabbing a second vodka bottle from the handy refrigerator in the side of the limo, popping it open and beginning to drink from the neck.

"Uh . . . well, we're going back to my studio," the director said distractedly. "I think we're gonna base our movie on something totally new. We'll call it 'Man's Life of Explosion.'"

"Oh yeah, that's definitely a real ringer," Goku said, rolling his eyes to imply that he was being sarcastic. However, the stout man didn't catch this motion, and said excitedly, "You really think so?"

"No."

"Ah," he said disappointedly. "Well then. We're almost there, so you might wanna put that vodka bottle down. After all, it'll make a much better impression to the rest of the cast if you don't come out of my limo, dunk."

"Do I look drunk?" As the director turned to the Saiyan, he fixed him with his most somber look, resembling a CIA agent at a funeral.

"Not in the slightest," the director admitted.

"Good," said Goku, opening the door. "Because that was my 30th bottle of vodka, and I am drunk." Before the director could protest, he opened the door, clutching all the bottles he had recently consumed as he popped out of the fancy car. All the cheering stopped, and the reporters began to gabble and write notes furiously at the fact that the newest star was an addict.

"Sir," one female reporter said, shoving her way to the front of the line. "Why do you think the most famous director in movie history would hire you if you're a drunk?"

"DRUNK?" Goku asked loudly, swaggering a bit, his bottles clinking noisily together. "What makes you say that, huh bitch?"

The female coughed eloquently. "That still doesn't answer my question sir. Why did he -" She broke off quite sharply as Goku belched, releasing a blast of energy from his mouth that completely shattered the building in front of them, shaking it to rubble.

"Hope that wasn't expensive," he muttered.
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<SELECT style="background-color: #920909; color: #000000; font-family: Matura MT Script Capitals; font-size: 14px; width: 200px; "><br /><OPTION>Goku</OPTION><br /><OPTION>MR: Keliouxan High Marshal</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Location: Space</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Power Level: 67,056</OPTION><br /></SELECT></div>
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The female was the first to recover from the shock that had seemed to throw a blanket over the crowd. She took notes on her handy dandy notebook as fast as she could, the muscles in her forearm tensing up with the speed she was writing at.

"Not good," slurred the Saiyan. "You can get texting thumb from that."

"I'm . . . not . . . texting," she managed to grunt, devoting most of her energy and concentration on the pad in front of her.

"And a damn good thing too!" Goku suddenly burst out, intending to swipe the pad away from the woman. Instead, he accidentally swiped HER out of . . . if you could say, her place, then it would be quite accurate. With a loud and incoherent scream that might have involved cursing her job and her boyfriend who had dumped her, she went flying off into the night sky, soon becoming a twinkle in the distance.

"Hehehe, pretty," Goku murmured, unaware of the disastrous effect he had now evoked upon the rest of the reporters. Beginning to edge away slowly until they hoped that he wouldn't follow them, they all broke into a disorganized scramble, hoping to reach their cars. Multiple remotes and keys shone as they dived into each others cars, people who had never met ending up sitting on each others laps.

"Hey," one particular male reporter commented when a vivaciously good-looking female sat on his lap.

"Hey yourself," she smiled coyly. As the car drove off, the un-drunk part of Goku's mind thought, Ooh-ooh, someone's gonna be gettin' dirty TONIGHT!

"Oh my god," he heard from behind. Turning around slowly and distractedly, he found the director sitting in the middle of all the ruins, kneading his fists into his forehead, quite obviously distraught.

"Why are you distraught?" asked Goku, voicing his thoughts, which he rarely did.
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<SELECT style="background-color: #920909; color: #000000; font-family: Matura MT Script Capitals; font-size: 14px; width: 200px; "><br /><OPTION>Goku</OPTION><br /><OPTION>MR: Keliouxan High Marshal</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Location: Space</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Power Level: 67,056</OPTION><br /></SELECT></div>
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"Just . . . shut up and come with me," he muttered, getting up and waking amidst the ruins into the half-standing building. Giggling for absolutely no reason (or so it seemed), the Saiyan followed suit.

"Guys," the director muttered dejectedly, "this is the new recruit I found." All the workers peeked out quietly from their hiding places and eyed him carefully. He gave them a dizzy wave, five of the bottles loosening their grip and flying out, smashing against the wall. This was effectively enough to send the rest of the actors and helpers on-set into a stupor, cradling while holding on to their knees in fetal position and muttering about light fixtures.

"Oh my GOD!" Goku suddenly burst out, pointing his finger at all the scared dimwits and laughing so hard that the light fixtures in question began to shake, letting loose filaments which rained down upon everyone.

"What's so funny?" the director asked irritably. "You just scared off potentially the biggest press we've ever had! We could have made more than a million dollars just from that!"

"My bad," continued Goku, wiping tears from his eyes. "But . . .but . . . you see, I was never really drunk!" Continuing to roll around on the floor, laughing like a man who belongs in an asylum, all that was met was dead silence. You could hear dust fall on the floor. If Goku stopped laughing.

"FUCK!" the director suddenly broke out, making a lunge for Goku. Unfortunately for him, the stout man happened to jump on the Saiyan just when he was kicking hysterically. Unknown to the Saiyan, he slammed his foot into the man's stomach, effectively winding him but even more effectively sending him hurtling through the air much like a levitating bowling ball. This metaphorical (and somewhat physical, for the director had curled up and begun to suck his thumb) bowling ball head towards the metaphorical and physical bowling pins, who stood their, absolutely petrified.
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<SELECT style="background-color: #920909; color: #000000; font-family: Matura MT Script Capitals; font-size: 14px; width: 200px; "><br /><OPTION>Goku</OPTION><br /><OPTION>MR: Keliouxan High Marshal</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Location: Space</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Power Level: 67,056</OPTION><br /></SELECT></div>
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"BANG!" shouted Goku, delving deeper into insanity as he laughed intensely, tears now pouring out of his eyes as everyone vacant in the room except for himself was sent flying in every direction possible, landing in the most abstract forms ever. Some landed on the walls like flies and slid down, quite dazed and wondering what had happened. Others landed on top of others, and in this instance, the men were quite pleased with this. Needless to say, the women were not, and once they had semi-effectively recovered, they pushed the men off of them and begun to berate them, smacking them on the head on every alternative word to emphasize their words.

"HWO!" Goku cried, but then cut himself off sharply. The director had distanced himself from a particularly large pile of human bodies and was beginning to speak.

"Everyone, the movie shall go as planned! Set up your spots! Goku, here is your script." He handed him a script that was at least forty pages long.

"Hey, not bad," said Goku, quickly flipping through the script. "And here I was thinking that you went overdose on almost all of your movies."

"Goku, that's just the first act," said the director blankly, fixing him with a stare.

"And how many acts are there overall?" the Saiyan asked, steeling himself.

"Twenty-five," the director said frankly.

This time, it was Goku who dropped to the ground, wondering how he would ever get through this. How do all those celebrities get through this? All this unnecessary scripting, all this dialogue, this action, this memorization . . . RAH!

"Aw, come now Goku, it's not that bad," said the director comfortingly, patting him on the back. "Oh, by the way, did I mention that there were some refreshments for actors -"

"FOOD!" Goku yelled so suddenly that the director flew five feet into the air. Instead of plummeting back down, the momentum from Goku's sudden lunge to the food stand pushed him even higher, giving him the sensation that he was a super hero for a couple of momentous seconds.

"BITCHES!" he shouted while towering (for once) over the rest. "I NEVER WANTED TO BE A MOVIE DIRECTOR! I WANTED TO BE A -"
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<SELECT style="background-color: #920909; color: #000000; font-family: Matura MT Script Capitals; font-size: 14px; width: 200px; "><br /><OPTION>Goku</OPTION><br /><OPTION>MR: Keliouxan High Marshal</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Location: Space</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Power Level: 67,056</OPTION><br /></SELECT></div>
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That's when the director fell back onto the floor. He had just managed to catch himself from spilling his largest secret, but when all the air was driven from his lungs, the word just spat itself out.

"BALLERINA!" he howled, terrified. Everyone stopped what they were doing, including Goku, who was in the midst of going to the bathroom. They all turned around (Goku rotated his head) and stared at him.

"Really?" they asked curiously.

"SHUT UP AND WORK!" he screamed, pointing his finger in so many places quickly that it looked like he was a demented five year old attempting to blast someone full of holes.

"But, sir, I wanted to be a ballerina also," one man replied hesitantly, unsure of what would happen. The director stopped his moaning and groaning, fixing him with a hopeful stare.

"Really?" he asked softly, stretching out a hand to put on the mans shoulder.

"Yeah," the man replied, more enthusiastically than before. "I mean, people always did say I had an awesome pirouette! Check it!" And so saying, the man began to spin sharply, perfectly in sync with the rhythm that was playing in both men's heads.

"YES!" the director said, and begun to spin as well. As they did, Goku finished, zipped up his pants and slammed his fist on the handle. Walking over to the sink and beginning to wash his hands, he noticed that in the washbasin mirror, it appeared that the co-producer and director were having a pirouette competition.

"ME TOO!" cried Goku cheerfully, leaping with them and beginning to spin. The three of them looked so professional that a woman walking by decided to praise them for their skill. However, her children pointed and laughed, whereas the men stopped sharply, Goku launching a powerful beam ball where the concrete lay underneath their feet for good measure.

As the explosion ripped through the roof and sent the trio outside hurtling towards the nearest bus stop, Goku took his position next to the lamp and begun to read his script. It might take a while to fully memorize everything.
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<SELECT style="background-color: #920909; color: #000000; font-family: Matura MT Script Capitals; font-size: 14px; width: 200px; "><br /><OPTION>Goku</OPTION><br /><OPTION>MR: Keliouxan High Marshal</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Location: Space</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Power Level: 67,056</OPTION><br /></SELECT></div>
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"Let's begin now!" the director suddenly roared, jolting everyone out of their pleasant daydreams. He clapped his hands like a sultan expectantly for food to arrive, and in a similar manner everyone leaped onto the stage, quickly babbling their lines in the fervent hopes that they would remember thme at the last second. Goku was already on stage, and he liked his script a lot. Or perhaps, he HAD liked his script a lot would be more of an effective way of putting it. In the beginning, he was the miraculous hero, banging and barging his way through everything with force. However, after a tragic accident involving the death of his girlfriend (who was hot), he became somber, and went through all of his situations using pure brainpower, eventually becoming defeated and dying a slow, painful and mangled death.

Making a pooing sound, Goku begun to talk, clutching his girlfriend for good measure. She seemed to enjoy it, even giving the Saiyan a stroke on his abs that wasn't exactly part of the script.

"If we don't get out of this," he muttered, holding his head close to hers, "I just want you to know . . . I've always loved you more than you'll ever know."

"No," she said, stroking his cheek. "I think I know, because I've always loved you more than you've ever loved me."

Suddenly, a cry erupted from someone in the backstage, yelling, "Just do her already!" The entire stage went quiet, and unsure of whether to stop filming, the film crew kept going.

"Alright then!" the girl cried joyfully, ripping off her shirt. All the people could do was stare, except for the provacative Goku, who ripped off his shirt also, picking her up.

"Uh . . ." mumbled the director, unsure of what to do.

"We'll be done in around thirty minutes," he announced, grinning widely as he carried the girl hero-style into the back room, ripping a few cushions off of the chairs as he went.
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<SELECT style="background-color: #920909; color: #000000; font-family: Matura MT Script Capitals; font-size: 14px; width: 200px; "><br /><OPTION>Goku</OPTION><br /><OPTION>MR: Keliouxan High Marshal</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Location: Space</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Power Level: 67,056</OPTION><br /></SELECT></div>
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*30 incredible minutes later . . .*

"Woo!" the woman exclaimed, her hair mused and her clothes put on in disarray, leaning heavily on Goku as they exited the closet. The two were holding hands and laughing in quite a hysterical fashion, tears of happiness pouring down their faces.

As always, the director was not one to mince words. "Done screwing each other?!?!" he roared, pounding his fist on the table, sending spidery cracks skittering up the marble.

"Hmm. . ." said Goku, pretending to think about it. "Yeah, I'd say we are."

"Then GET BACK TO YOUR SCRIPTS!!!" he roared, throwing his head up in a maniacal fashion and shaking it back and forth, like a lion. Goku laughed and took his spot, the girl taking hers. Then, the director shook his head for a second.

"Wait," he said, grabbing the girl and dragging her to the closet. "I'll be right back. Continue your scripts."

"Huh?" they all said simultaneously.

"SCRIPTS!" he roared before slamming the door shut, loosening and even dropping some pieces of wood from the frame. Everyone stood, quite shocked for a couple of seconds. The director had never gone that far as to grab a girl and actually take her to the metaphorical ‘back room’ – in front of everyone.

Except for Goku, who stood there, crying sadly. They stared at him, feeling pity strike at their very hearts. The director was cruel, that was so true. But then they heard his words: “I’m . . . so proud of him,” he sniffed. “Such a big boy now. I just want to give him a big hug.”

The other still stared, until one had the courage to speak up: “Um, excuse me . . . didn’t you kind of have feelings for her? Wouldn’t you feel very sad and mollified that the cruel man took her?”

“Dude, I barely knew her!” Goku responded. “So, I guess she can go with whoever she wants.”
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<SELECT style="background-color: #920909; color: #000000; font-family: Matura MT Script Capitals; font-size: 14px; width: 200px; "><br /><OPTION>Goku</OPTION><br /><OPTION>MR: Keliouxan High Marshal</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Location: Space</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Power Level: 67,056</OPTION><br /></SELECT></div>
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Suddenly, an idea sparked in the Saiyan's devious mind. "Guys!" he exclaimed, clapping his hands. "While the director's gone, we can actually make a good movie! Everyone, to your places. This is where real acting comes into play!" When everyone gave each other blank looks, Goku smiled deviously and muttered, "Improvisation."

"Oh woe, what hath this terrible world cometh to?" one woman shrieked, pretending to stab herself with a sharp dagger, gasping as she dropped onto the ground, luckily on her stomach so that no blood (if any did come out) was not visible to the viewers. Next, a man jumped over her, somersaulting and beginning to break dance.

"Wuz poppin' USA!?!?!" he shouted loudly, acting quite gangster and improvising his dance, which also looked quite convincing. Next, a gunshot rang out, and (although not on purpose), he was startled, took a couple of steps back, and tripped over the woman, where he lay, also seemingly dead.

A man stood on the side, wearing a cowboy hat and two guns in his holsters. Well, one actually, due to the other being out, smoke drifting out of the front of the revolver. He blew it away, smiling as he twirled it in the palm of his hand before deftly sticking it back in its holster.

"None y'all gownna get here, that's what I say," he commented, taking a wide stance, as if in a show-down. Then, someone came up behind him, kicking him in the back so hard that he was sent flying, twirling and smashing into the woman and man, who were also pushed until they slammed into the very door where the director and his 'honey' worked.

Who was it that had kicked them? None other than Goku, of course, who had decided to take the role of Martial Arts Dojo Master, now guffawing and dancing up and down on the same spot, acting like a monkey. The closet door then banged open, the director staring at the somewhat scene of disaster, his chest heaving, his face red. The woman popped behind him, wearing a sulky face and mumbling, "You're not very experienced, are you?"
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<SELECT style="background-color: #920909; color: #000000; font-family: Matura MT Script Capitals; font-size: 14px; width: 200px; "><br /><OPTION>Goku</OPTION><br /><OPTION>MR: Keliouxan High Marshal</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Location: Space</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Power Level: 67,056</OPTION><br /></SELECT></div>
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"What is the meaning of this?" the director roared, spittle flying out of his mouth as he shook his hands to emphasize his words. "I leave just for a couple of . . . well, twenty minutes just to . . . well, 'get it in,' and I come back to a complete scene of destruction!?!?!"

Goku, for he was always a wise warrior, thought quickly and on his feet. He knew that the cameras were still filming, and as was becoming a habit, he thought of an idea - quickly.

"But my friend," he cried in an Italian falsetto, "we are simply enjoying the mood, eh? No need to become so worked up about it, eh?"

"Shut up!" he positively screeched. "Shut up, shut up, shut UP!!! You have no right to tell me this, you, you horrible coordinator-of-movies! You should go to hell, die, and all things like that!"

"Oh, but how tis true?" Goku said, still carrying on his accent. "You know that we never imaged dat this would happen, eh?"

"AND STOP SAYING 'EH!'" he shouted, attempting to slash at Goku. With a quick gesture from the Saiyan, a sword hurtled through the air, to be caught by the surprised director. With a nod of acknowledgment, Goku whipped out his Runic Blade. Atmospheric Japanese music began to drift through the air as the two stared at each other.

"HYAH!" the director yelled, beginning the assault. In a flurry of movements, he attacked viciously towards the Saiyan, who stylishly blocked the attacks. This kept on for a couple of minutes, until the filming stopped. Without hesitation, the Saiyan ran towards the door and grabbed the film, running to the National Film Association. He popped it in, and hoped for the best.

A couple of days later, the news was announced. For the director's new albeit strange style of filming and the humor and action presented, he was getting the Oscar Award!

"Oh my goodness!" he cried (literally), tears splashing all over the floor. He hugged Goku, who patted him on the head awkwardly. "You helped me son! Thank you! I'll forever be in your debt!"

"Useful now that you're famous, eh?" Goku winked.
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<SELECT style="background-color: #920909; color: #000000; font-family: Matura MT Script Capitals; font-size: 14px; width: 200px; "><br /><OPTION>Goku</OPTION><br /><OPTION>MR: Keliouxan High Marshal</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Location: Space</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Power Level: 67,056</OPTION><br /></SELECT></div>
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