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A Beer With The Devil; Personal Saga (complete)
Topic Started: Nov 27 2008, 09:41 AM (58 Views)
Alaric
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Lord of Insanity
Raditz smiled. He was getting stronger. Just an hour ago, he’d wrestled down a group of aliens, then killed them for good. On the other hand, he was having trouble with his advanced muscular structure (or so he assumed the smart people would call it). His muscles reacted on their own. When an alien kicked him in ribs, his hands would automatically form a Ki blast and shoot it. A deadly weapon, for sure, but… It wasn’t a real fight if all the enemy’s attacks were countered.

Earlier that same day, he’d gone to clean a crazy monk’s temple. Even a powerful Saiyan warrior like Raditz couldn’t handle more than a few minutes of that psychotic human… He’d been telling stories, than randomly, he’d start screaming and yelling. Then, the monk would mutter curses and oaths under his breath. Finally, the day ended when he started chanting and Raditz blew his guts out with a Kamehameha.

Now, some guy had hired him to go catch a couple of bandits who’d sailed off in a brand new motor boat. ‘Great,’ Raditz thought to himself, ‘I’m sinking lower and lower… what’s next? A Saiyan asking for my help? Ha!’

“Fine. Where should I start looking?” Raditz asked.

The man who’d lost his boat paused, “Well…” he drew a piece of paper and a marker. The human drew a line and an ‘X’. Then he spoke, “They should be at the X, where their headquarters are. But… You’ll need a boat!”

Raditz started to float out over the water, “I don’t feel like a boat,” he smiled, “Maybe we can go fishing some other time.”

*

Raditz glanced down at the map. He’d started at Falcon Point… Well, actually, he’d started at the “Groggy Barrel”, but that was only to get a beer. Plus, that was at Falcon Point, anyways. Back to the point, the ‘X’ was at Skull Island, but written in pen near the red ‘X’ was the word ‘HELL’.
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Alaric
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Lord of Insanity

Raditz grinned. If it was truly Hell, he’d be having a beer with the devil pretty soon! ‘Oh well,’ thought the Saiyan, ‘I’ll make do! Drinking with the devil… Actually, I’d rather smash a beer bottle in his face!’

As Raditz thought this, he looked at the empty bottle of beer in his hands. Playfully, the Saiyan tossed the bottle lightly from hand to hand, weighing it. Finally, an island came into view. It was shaped like a skull, and had a small building centered around a cave.

Raditz landed. Seeing a frightened human guard, he spoke.

“You’re not the devil, but…” the warrior tossed the empty bottle in the air, smiling, “You’ll do, I guess!”

And with that reasoning, he smashed the human’s face with the beer bottle and walked into the building.

Moreover, he walked into the fenced area. A few fearful human guards cowered behind the table, playing cards all around it. They’d turned the table on it’s side for the sake of protection.

Raditz looked around the area. There were a few trees, but only around the fence. The guards wore red uniforms, with some text in the corner. Raditz squinted at the text, seeing, ‘Red Ribbon Army’. From what he understood, they were associated with androids, such as #14. Anyways, there was blood from the guard Raditz had brutally injured with the glass bottle, and fragments of the glass embedded in almost everything it could reach.

A few sparse bushes covered the entrance to the cave. They were completely stripped of leaves, and red ribbons were tied around it. ‘Ugh… Human humor. Disgusting,’ thought Raditz. Also, there was money and beer lying around, most likely belonging to the guards.

Raditz advanced on the table, dragging the injured guard behind him. Smirking, the Saiyan began to speak.
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Alaric
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Lord of Insanity

“Take your comrade. You all disgust me. Tell you what; if you can escape from this island – all of you, including the guy with the broken face – then I’ll let you go. If anyone is left behind, I will blow you all up. However! I am going to be very generous, and give you a hint… If you focus on a single thing, you can sense it… Vaguely. Focus hard on my presence, because if you’re still here when I return…” Raditz waved his swords vaguely, threatening the guards, “Let’s just say, don’t stay here any longer than need be.”

With that warning, the humans took off running in the direction of what Raditz assumed was a boat – in the case that it was, very vaguely, in the shape of a bowl with oars. Raditz sighed.

“Right…” the Saiyan headed into the cave.

A human stood right there, blocking the way. He didn’t tremble, merely kneed Raditz in the groin and set off.

“Hey, you!!” Raditz whipped around, flying after the man, “Get back here!!”

“No,” it stated simply.

“No?! What do you mean, ‘no’?!” Raditz yelled.

“Scanning ‘no’…” it seemed to think, “Statement; correct.”

“Are you an android?!” Raditz exclaimed, “If you’re a human, I’ll stuff your face in a toilet and flush!!” the Saiyan flew faster, catching up.

“Scanning ‘android’… Meaning; Bionic being, usually representing another being,” the thing paused, “Statement correct. I am an ‘android’.”

“Ya’?! Which one?!” Raditz sneered.

“Processing statement… I am called ‘DNA’. I was born from the cells of an elder scientist, mixed with those of a powerful warrior. I am completely indestructible by any man-made weapon,” it stated.

“Well, let’s see if my fist is man-made, eh?!” Raditz punched the android in the gut.

His fist pierced through. The android’s robotic systems started to short circuit, leaving only a hunk of human parts. Suddenly, it sat up. It seemed to be alive. Raditz cut it’s head off.

Finally, the android was dead.

*

Raditz had killed off the entire island by that time, and retrieved the boat. ‘Mission success, time for a beer!’ thought Raditz happily.
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