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| All Your Own Stunts!; Medium Quest - DONE | |
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| Topic Started: May 2 2009, 01:29 AM (209 Views) | |
| Disgraced Bojack | May 2 2009, 01:29 AM Post #1 |
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all for the monay nigga!
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| Disgraced Bojack | May 2 2009, 01:55 AM Post #2 |
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all for the monay nigga!
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“No ma'am, I insist, I don't wan- Okay, okay,” Bojack said. The blue alien posed for the picture with the old lady and her cat. It was for the local newspaper of the town he was in. The town's name was unknown to Bojack. And nobody else had bothered to mention it. The newspaper's name was The Daily News which wasn't much of a help either. “No, ma'am, I can't tak- Okay, but only because I love you.” Bojack said when the lady offered him a hundred zeni. He took the money and shoved it into his fluffy white pants. Fuck that. He did want the money. But everybody loved a humble hero. And humble heroes usually got more recognition than the cockier ones. It was a price Bojack was willing to pay. Or rather, get paid for it. “People of this glorious town, listen to me! Listen! If you ever need a hand, if your cat is ever stuck in a tree, if your local orphanage is on fire, do not fear. I am,” Bojack paused for a moment to flex his muscles, “Here.” Bojack had done the simple quest of retrieving a woman's cat from a tree. And all he did was kick the tree and split it in half. The rest was simple. Soon after the crowd dispersed and the cameras stopped flashing, Bojack began to stroll down the street of the small town. He somehow made it to the town's main street, and he saw movie cameras, trailers, and the likes spread out on the street. It appeared to be the set of a movie. Bojack wondered if casting was still going on, so he could get involved in the project. It would be a blockbuster if Bojack was involved, he was sure of it. Screw it. Bojack had the looks. Bojack had the style. But Bojack didn't have the oppurtunity. Or so he thought. |
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| Disgraced Bojack | May 2 2009, 02:05 AM Post #3 |
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all for the monay nigga!
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Bojack continued to walk down the main street, casting glances at the trailers. He was hoping to see an actor he recognized, but most of the ones that had caught his eye were b-rate actors, nobody too big. The rest looked like pornstars. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but Bojack had never met anybody famous other than himself in his short-lived life. Usually when a town had a film being shot in it, the people would crowd around the set and bother production, and the actors – but barely anybody was there. Sure, it didn't look like anybody was filming or rehearsing anything, but that wouldn't stop somebody like Bojack from snooping around. It was going nowhere. He saw a make-up artist or two float around rushing from one trailer to the other. Maybe a sound guy trying to find the right area to set up his equipment. And then he saw her. Joanna Brickwell. In all her beautiful, dignified, fucking sexy glory. She walked with a swagger, as if she ran the entire world. She was a blonde. Hopefully she would be stupid enough for Bojack to pick her up without having to spike her drink or having to put his mac on her. Hopefully. “Hey there, Joanna! It's me, Bojack!” Bojack was beginning to act like a fanboy that was starstruck when he saw his favorite actress for the first time. All he wanted to do was bang her, and on top of that, it wasn't as if Joanna possessed any talent. Maybe she was a good rider. She looked at him in disgust. He returned the same look at her. She threw him a finger, and then disappeared into her trailer. Bojack gave her a finger too. Oh yeah, he was going to do her – he was already imagining it. Someone began to pat his back. It was Robert Gainwell, the director of The Midnight Giraffe. It wasn't a bad movie by any means, but the stunt director apparently had no vision of any sort, or maybe it was just a lack of good stuntmen. |
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| Disgraced Bojack | May 2 2009, 02:16 AM Post #4 |
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all for the monay nigga!
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“She's pretty hot, isn't she?” Robert asked. “I'd do her.” Bojack replied. “Ha. I'm gonna go ahead and give you that chance, Bojack.” Robert Gainwell said with confidence in his voice. Bojack looked over at him, eyebrows raised. “What you talking about, man?” Bojack asked. “I give myself a chance to tap that.” Bojack was confident about his sex appeal. He had good style, that was apparent. He was blue, which was always a plus. And he was a alien, and everybody knew that rumor about aliens were true. “Look at what I'm saying here, man. I'm giving you an opportunity to star in my movie. The Bearded Lion. Brad Pitt decided he was gonna have another kid, so I need you, man. I saw what you did with that tree there. You can have whatever you want.” Gainwell was good with words. “That's cool with me, man. Let's do this shit to it.” Bojack said. He wanted a spot in the movie, and he got one better. He was going to be the face of this movie. It was time for Bojack's legacy to start, and what better way than to star in a movie directed by the Robert Gainwell? Sure, his movie's names were a bit wacky – but that could be overlooked. And they would be overlooked, especially if Bojack's face was on the movie poster. The alien walked behind Gainwell as they headed towards his trailer to begin the contract signing. A long hour later, they both walked out, wide smiles on their face. Bojack was making a ton of money by making this movie. And he had a make-out scene with Joanna. He was definitely going to tap that. “Come back, tomorrow. We're gonna start at 5 a.m. Do. Not. Be. Late.” Gainwell said. Bojack raised his eyebrow at him, and chuckled. This guy had another thing coming if he thought Bojack was about to wake up at five in the morning just to star in a movie. He didn't argue, however. Bo just walked off set, hoping to catch a glimpse of Joanna before he left. His attempt failed. He continued over to a hotel, booked a room, and went to sleep. He had a long day ahead of him. |
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| Disgraced Bojack | May 2 2009, 02:30 AM Post #5 |
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all for the monay nigga!
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“Will you wake the hell up?!” Robert Gainwell's deep voice resounded in Bojack's small apartment. “How in the hell did you get in here?” Bojack mumbled. He was sure he had locked the door before he had headed off to sleep. It is five-fifteen! And your big blue ass is still half-asleep! WAKE UP!” Gainwell said, again. Bojack finally gave in, and half-assedly got out of his comfortable bed. He was angry, but laziness was the dominant feeling. It overshadowed everything else. That and the fact he wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep. “You've to rehearse the kissing scene today!” Gainwell said, his attempts to wake Bojack up getting more and more frantic. It might have been a trick – Bojack was wary. What if it wasn't? The alien hadn't seen the script as of yet, so anything might have been legit. He could've had a fist fight with a shark today for all Bojack knew. “For real? I'mma be all up on that.” Bojack said. His lips were curved into a smile. Joanna. Beautiful Joanna and Bojack, in a liplock. It was going to be a good day. Bojack rubbed his eyes, and the first thing he saw when he opened them was the set. They were on it already. The walk to the apartment took at least five minutes – they had made it in at least three. “Where's Jo'?” asked Bojack. He was getting anxious. “She'll be here. First, I need to kick down another tree. Make sure you're in tip top shape.” “Sure. Whatever.” Bojack said. He walked over to the sidewalk, by one of the smaller trees. He gave it a swift kick, splitting the wood in the half. Before it hit the ground, he caught it with his right hand, and then lifted it above his hood. He lowered it, then raised it – he was showing off his muscles. “I'm fitter than a bull. Don't worry about that. Let's do some stunts or something.” “NO! Your chest is too big! You've got to lose about three inches before we start shooting. I'm calling the dietitian. We've no time to waste!” “FUCK NO! Took me forever to get a chest like this. Pam Anderson ain't got shit on me!” “This is my movie. And you will not screw it up. You understand that, Bojack? You signed that signature. Your ass is mine until this movie comes out on DVD.” |
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| Disgraced Bojack | May 2 2009, 04:06 AM Post #6 |
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all for the monay nigga!
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Bojack made one hell of a mistake. He began to work for a tyrant. Even though he could easily overpower the majority of the people, if not all, he liked to honor his agreements. He nodded towards the director. “Fine. But don’t forget my side of the deal.” Bojack said. His slick grin was wide across his face. “Fine. But now, go over there, you need to practice your first fight for the movie.” The director said. Bojack nodded, and then went to the specified area and sat down on a small metal chair that was convenietly placed right in front of Joanna’s trailer. She must have been inside, working on her hair or her nails or some other part of her body. Women. Always trying to look good, but always wasting time doing it. But hey, it wasn’t as if Bojack minded a good looking woman. He couldn’t wait for her to get out, however. That kissing scene was scheduled to happen today – it wasn’t something he wanted to miss. Besides, he was sure Joanna was more than excited to kiss the hunky blue alien. Interracial kisses were always the best, Bojack figured, ever since his first human girlfriend. She was a stripper. It was hard for aliens to get respectable human girlfriends, since they were all “dignified” and shit. But the ones that weren’t, they were the ones worth chasing. Just then, Bojack heard the sound of an object rushing through the air toward him. He flinched, but as fast as he was, he was too slow to avoid a stinging slap that knocked his head to one side and sent him staggering against another chair. He rolled across the seat of the chair and sprang upright, his left arm lifted to ward off an oncoming blow, his right arm pulled back, ready to stab with the hunting knife that was also conviently laying around. To his astonishment, he saw that it was Chuck Norris who had struck him. Chuck Norris in all his chest haired glory, standing in front of Bojack. This shit was about to get real. |
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| Disgraced Bojack | May 2 2009, 04:42 AM Post #7 |
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all for the monay nigga!
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After a day of training, and no kissing scenes, Bojack retired to his peaceful apartment. It was close to eleven at night. He wasn’t as tired as he would have been if he were training with Spopovich or even Cimno, but it still took a toll on his body. A more-than-twelve hour workday was hectic. It was the exact reason Bojack didn’t even want a job, and the exact reason Bojack didn’t have a job. He wasn’t cut out for it. He’d rather show off his muscles and star in movies like he was currently doing. But it still sucked. The next morning, Bojack was able to wake up at five somehow and make his way to the set without killing somebody in the process. The director looked fairly happy today. He asked Bojack if he could fly – Bojack said no. That dampened the guy’s day, but it seemed just as quick as that idea went out the window, a new one popped into his head. Today was the day they’d shoot the first scenes. They had decided it would be a silent film, since they didn’t trust Bojack’s acting abilities as much as they did his fighting abilities. He didn’t care. People would pay just to look at him anyways. The first scene would have Bojack in a bar in the wild wild west when Aliens and humans were still segregated. Bojack would be in a human-only bar, and the humans would have a problem with that. Of course, Bojack wasn’t a normal alien – he was a strong, strong alien. But even before the cameras started rolling, the director found fault in every little thing. Even with the way Bojack blinked. He thought it was too ..modern, and not cowboy-ish. Fuck. By lunchtime, they hadn’t even gotten the first two minutes of the movie on tape yet. The director was a nuisance and everybody seemed to agree. Well, the people that Bojack asked did. Joanna wasn’t seen anywhere either. Bojack was beginning to worry. If she left, who was he going to kiss? Hopefully not that fat cafeteria lady, or the make-up artist who had one too many boobs. It was going downhill. The next day, the procedure was the same. But they got a close to three minutes of film on tape however. The director was beginning to annoy Bojack. A lot. |
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| Disgraced Bojack | May 2 2009, 03:41 PM Post #8 |
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all for the monay nigga!
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Bojack stood atop the tower, looking down at the small pool of water that was waiting for him on the ground. His intructions were to fall directly into the water. Bojack wasn’t a small guy – he was close to seven feet, after all – and the pool’s depth must not have been more than six feet deep. Bojack had asked, maybe even pleaded, for a bigger pool, but his requests feel on deaf ears. He would just have to deal with it. “Aight. I’m ready.” He said to the people on the ground. They were composed of nurses, a doctor possibly, firemen, sound guys, make-up people, the stunt coordinator, and many more citizens. He had an audience. They were all Bojack’s audience. Bojack stifled a yawn, bored. He allowed his gaze to drift around the horizon, from Joanna to the director, a round-faced citizen with flaxen hair who was nodding with approval at Bojack’s impending stunt; to John, the coffee-gym who was using a fingernail polisher to polish a few rocks. Bojack jumped. Without forewarning, without a word said, Bojack jumped. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if the cameras were on. He just jumped. The wind pushed his hair back. But it didn’t phase him too much. Then, he hit the water. Five minutes later, he was sitting in his room, ice-pack on his forehead. This shit was getting old. He heard a knock on the door. “Come in.” He said, “No autographs, though.” It was Joanna. She was wearing a blue leather dress that was probably for her scene. He gave her a small smile, rememebering their first encounter. “Hi.” She said, taking a seat on a small steel chair to the side of Bojack’s bed. He said hi too. “Look, the director’s flipping a shit here. We can’t put up with this. It’s complete anarchy,” She said, taking a moment to flip her hair back, “We need you to intimidate him enough so that he gives us some freedom and we can make this movie better than what it looks like it’s gonna be. Okay?” She shared the same ideas he did. “That’s cool with me. I’ll do it tomorrow. My head hurt like shit.” They said good-bye and then she left his trailer. What a hottie. Hopefully by the end of tomorrow, it’d be the two of them, in his trailer, alone. He closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep. |
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| Disgraced Bojack | May 2 2009, 03:57 PM Post #9 |
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“Look, I need a word with you.” Bojack said to the director. He didn’t pay the alien much mind at first but when Bojack asked again with a more stern tone, he didn’t deny the request. Bojack loved being a intimidating alien sometimes. He began to tell the director all the wrong things he was doing, hoping to strike a chord while he was at it. Bojack’s plan wasn’t to criticise the guy’s work and make him try and mend his ways. No, his plan was make sure this guy didn’t interfere with the people working on this movie even though he was the director. When the guy began to tell Bojack off, Bojack picked him up by his collar, and lifted him a few feet off the ground. He growled his request again. The director shut his yap. Bojack smiled. He put the director down, and gave him his hotel key. He gave the director specific instructions to stay there until he was told to come out. Hopefully the monkey would listen to him or Bojack would have to persuade him in other ways. Bojack returned to the set where he was greeted by everybody that was involved with the project. Somebody brought beer, and they all began to chug it down faster than it come. Bojack was in the lead with about fifteen beers. Aliens had more tolerance for alcohol. Hell, they were about ten percent alcohol. Bojack woke up on the ground in the morning. Steve’s head laid on his stomach. He was out-cold. Bojack nudged him slightly. He didn’t wake. Bojack’s tolerance for bromosexuality was low. He pushed Steve off onto the ground and stood up. People were sprawled out everywhere. He yawned and stretched his long arms. He yelled “good morning” at the top of his lungs, and it seemed to wake everybody up. It was time to begin the movie. Bojack went over to the stunt coordinator and began to go over the stunts he had to do the current day. |
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| Disgraced Bojack | May 2 2009, 05:02 PM Post #10 |
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With a series of giddy leaps, Bojack followed Joanna throw the trailers of other cast members to Joanna’s trailer. Outside the trailer, there was a make-up artist washing a shift in a bucket of soapy water, scrubbing the white fabric against a board of ridged wood. She lifted a hand to shield her eyes as a cloud of dust from Bojack’s feet drifted over her. Joanna took another step towards the tent, buckling on her belt. She coughed, and squinted in the dust. “So this is good-night, huh?” she asked as Bojack was about to walk away. Speaking quickly, Bojack answered her question. He then stressed upon her the important of keeping the director’s absence a secret from their producers and other passerbys. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but if they got their funding cut off, Bojack was sure he wasn’t going to get paid, and would probably have a court order pending against him. Not that he would show, but it would be bad for his legacy. Or it could be good. Either way, he said goodbye to Joanna, and made his way back to his trailer, but after he dropped off food to the caged director. The movie was going fairly well, but since nobody had that good of a vision, it wasn’t shaping up to be what everyone thought it was. Sure, the director was a twat, but he had a vision. He knew how to make a movie. Nobody else could fill his shoes, and plenty of people had already tried to so far. They needed the director back. But, after imprisoning him in a hotel room, they weren’t sure if he would just happily agree and not hold any hard feelings against anyone. It would be a gamble if they went to ask his help. Hopefully he would agree. Bojack decided to do it in the morning, when he was more well-rested. After all, Bojack never did anything on a sleepy head. Or a empty stomach. He made his way towards Taco Bell. |
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| Disgraced Bojack | May 2 2009, 05:10 PM Post #11 |
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“Hey, open up!” Bojack said, pounding on the feeble door. It would’ve been easy for him to knock it down – but it wouldn’t send the right vibe. Finally, the door opened and the wiry director walked out. His spectacles were an inch away from falling off his nose. His hair was a mess, and he looked as if he hadn’t bathed in days. All thanks to Bojack. Bojack shook his hand, and thought of it to be a good move. He looked him sqaurely in the eyes and extended his offer. The director agreed without hesitation and also agreed not to hold anything against anybody. Bojack made the director take a bath, get a haircut, and wear a new pair of glasses before they headed back to the set. If the director had ventured to the set alone, he would’ve had his ass handed to him. But with Bojack’s protection, he didn’t have to fear anybody trying to harm him. The cast did not receive the director well. They were furious at Bojack for bringing him back, even though Bojack was the one that had pressured him into leaving. But Bojack quickly explained the situation, and that the director wouldn’t be as gay as he was before. Everybody seemed to like that idea. Soon after, they began to shoot the first scene. There were no interupptions, no comments, the director said nothing more than was needed. Bojack hid a smile. His plan had worked. And the crew and director were working better than ever. The scene they were shooting today had Bojack lift a boulder and throw it into the air towards the sun, just because he was mad. If Bojack had tried, he was sure the boulder could reach the sun, but he didn’t want to show off. Show offs were gay. The scene went well, but it was hard to find a boulder that was the perfect size. But soon after, Bojack had a kissing scene with Joanna. That went well. Bojack was sure Joanna was in love with him already, so he made sure to put his moves on her when the cameras were off. After that scene, he had an interview with TIME magazine. |
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| Disgraced Bojack | May 2 2009, 05:31 PM Post #12 |
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The movie was near done now, and it gave Bojack time to think about the two months he spent on the site. It didn’t seem like two months. It was as if just yesterday, he was kicking down trees to retrieve kittens and the such. Today, he was cementing his legacy as one of the future’s brightest warriors. That’s all it was about, making a name for himself. Screw the money, screw the women, screw the sex – he just wanted not to be forgotten. It was what everybody asked for, wasn’t it? Bojack, Joanna, and the director were in a meeting with the producers now, and showing them the final edition of the movie. It looked good, Bojack realized. Even for being a silent film in this day and age, it was still one hell of a thriller. The producers seem to be amazed by it as well, usually exclaiming each time something action-packed happened. Whether it was Bojack throwing boulders, bench pressing entire buildings, or just him running on top of water, they were unable to resist the hold the movie had on them. Maybe Bojack was just imagining that. But it was a damn good movie. Bojack wondered how much it would make in the box office. Probably even break The Dark Knight record? He hoped so. He wondered if he would get any more movie deals after this, or maybe even an Oscar or a Golden Glode. Hell, even a Emmy cause he was that damn good. After the credits went off, the producers gave the movie an encore. They loved it. Bojack took out his new cell phone and called his mom. He had sent her a copy of the movie, without permission, and she loved it too. Hopefully, just hopefully, this movie would let everyone know just how badass Bojack was. Or how big of a pansy he was by starring in a movie named The Bearded Lion. |
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| Disgraced Bojack | May 2 2009, 05:37 PM Post #13 |
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Soon after, it was time for Bojack to leave. He wasn’t able to accomplish any training whatsoever in the months he had been working on the film. He had to get back on track. But he didn’t want to leave. He had began to spend a lot of time with Joanna, and she had begun to grow on him. They had their ups-and-downs, but it was shaping up to be a beautiful relationship. He was sure he would’ve been all on that had they enough time. But that was not so. They had dinner together the other night at Olive Garden, his treat. They even had a good-bye kiss when he dropped her off. He should not have had to leave. But Earth was calling his name. He had people to help, things to save, and make a name for himself. He had decided to donate all the money he made to a local orphanage, because that was the way it should’ve been. He was going to be a better person, the past two months taught him that. But it was getting hard to change. He lived life on the edge, not ..on the curve. It would take time getting used to it. But it didn’t mean he had to change completely. Maybe he could be a bit nicer to people, maybe he could be a bit more well-mannered. Just maybe. Time would tell. He just had one thing left to do. Attend the premiere of the movie. And that he did. The reception was great, and it looked as if they had well enough to achieve the number two spot, right behind The Dark Knight. Maybe time would tell if Bojack’s movie would be even better than Christopher Nolan’s. But he knew what the answer to that was. Only time would tell. Time was a bitch. |
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| Disgraced Bojack | May 3 2009, 08:27 PM Post #14 |
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It was the day of the premiere. Bojack was dressed in a three-buttoned, satin black tuxedo. He didn’t wear a tie, but allowed the top button of his white dress shirt to remain open, considering the size of his neck. Besides, he wasn’t a fan of ties – they made his head look big. He wore black shoes, and white socks, mimicking the Michael Jackson style that was popular back in the day. He got out of the large limosuine and walked down the red-carpet, partially blind due to the incessant flashes of cameras. “Hey, get my good side!” He said to a young man who was hoping for someone to pose for a shot. Bojack did just that. He flexed his muscles, ripping the fabric that covered his upper arm in half. He hoped they even got a shot of that. It wasn’t embarassing, but rather made him seem even more intimdating, walking down the red carpet with a busted tuxedo due to his overwhelming size. He continued to pose as he strolled, making sure to give each camera a shot worth taking. It was a long process. About two hours in, the actors were called in to take their seats as the movie was about to begin. Bojack decided against sitting in the very front, and chose a seat near the middle so he could have a better view. That’s what everyone did, didn’t they? After the movie was over, the main actors, Bojack and Joanna, were called to the front to answer any questions people had. That too was a long process because everyone just about had a question that was pointless. He heard the question “how did you feel about that movie?” being reworded and asked over and over again. Finally, they were able to leave and attend the afterparty. It was more of a formal dinner. Bojack had changed into a simple white tee for that. The dinner took a while as well. Bojack’s day started at eight a.m., and ended about ten p.m.. But his night was just beginning. After signing a few million more autographs, he had to say a toast. And then, the party began. He danced. He did the cha-cha, the funky chicken, the worm, the electric snake, and just about everything else he could think of. He had taken dancing classes when he was young and was on the gymnastics team at his high school, so he knew how to shake it. However his attempts at singing failed miserably. Finally, he was done. Everyone was called back to the hotel, and after a few good-byes, Bojack was back on the road and headed home. He loved his life. |
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