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| Jokes And Stuff | |
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| Topic Started: Jul 10 2010, 01:21 AM (1,250 Views) | |
| Gin Tsurugi | Jul 10 2010, 01:21 AM Post #1 |
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I dare any of you to say these three words out loud and keep a straight face afterward. Be sure to say them loudly and proudly now! My Dixie Wrecked |
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“If you make an ass out of yourself, there will always be someone to ride you." - Bruce Lee “Ever since I was a child I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential.” - Bruce Lee | |
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| Dabura | Jul 10 2010, 01:28 AM Post #2 |
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NEFARIOUS
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I had to say it three times to get it.
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![]() Siggy By OldTarble | Profile "It is pride that turns angels into demons." DaddySenpai - Tomorrow at 12:40 AM if i use deca ill always have a friend | |
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| Diive | Jul 10 2010, 02:05 AM Post #3 |
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Legendary Mullet
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| Diive | Jul 10 2010, 02:09 AM Post #4 |
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Legendary Mullet
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Sorry for the double post ... but...
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| Old Gohan | Jul 10 2010, 02:12 AM Post #5 |
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DA BU RA!
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A wry smile came to my face when I saw this. |
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| OldTarble | Jul 10 2010, 02:13 AM Post #6 |
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A Transformation Is Underway
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[align=center]![]() AIM: DragonDeath0 Roster || Vault || Theme The Official Approve My Quest Thread[/align] | |
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| Diive | Jul 10 2010, 02:24 AM Post #7 |
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Legendary Mullet
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My other favorite geeky joke-![]() If you get this joke, then your geek level just went up three points. |
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| OldTarble | Jul 10 2010, 02:29 AM Post #8 |
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A Transformation Is Underway
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[align=center]![]() AIM: DragonDeath0 Roster || Vault || Theme The Official Approve My Quest Thread[/align] | |
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| OldPapa | Jul 10 2010, 04:34 AM Post #9 |
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Delete My Account
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Haha. That one is pretty damn clever. Very sneaky. |
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| Seta | Jul 10 2010, 05:17 AM Post #10 |
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The Right Turn in History
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There's an Air Force guy driving from McChord to Ft Lewis, and an Army guy driving from Ft Lewis to McChord. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Air Force guy manages to climb out of his car and surveys the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says,....."Man, I am really lucky to be alive!" Likewise the Army guy scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, ..... "I can't believe I survived this wreck!" The Army guy walks over to the Air Force guy and says,...... "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of archrivals" The Air Force guy thinks for a moment and says, ...... "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm gonna see what else survived this wreck" So the Air Force guy pops open his trunk and finds a full, unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Army guy, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship" The Army guy replies, "You're damn right!" and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half the bottle the Army guy hands it back to the Air Force guy and says, "Your turn!" The Air Force guy twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nahh, I think I'll wait for the cops to show up." ----------------- Q: Why do West Point graduates hang their diplomas from the rear view mirror? A: To justify their handicap parking. ------------------------- Q: Do you know why the Army football team should change its name to the "Opposums"? A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road. --------------------------------------- Q: Why doesn't Army have ice on the sidelines during games? A: The guy with the recipe graduated. ------------------------------------------ Q. What do you get when you drive slowly by the Military Academy campus? A. A degree. ----------------------------------------------- Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and a West Point Cadet? A: Six more weeks of bad football. ---------------------------------- Yeah... I'm an air force brat with a lot of jokes about the other branches. :lol: |
[align=center]![]() Seta's Wiki | Character Vault | Seta's Theme Song Aut vincere aut mori.[/align] | |
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| OldTarble | Jul 10 2010, 10:40 AM Post #11 |
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A Transformation Is Underway
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[align=center]![]() AIM: DragonDeath0 Roster || Vault || Theme The Official Approve My Quest Thread[/align] | |
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| Old Gohan | Jul 10 2010, 11:59 AM Post #12 |
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DA BU RA!
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What's the difference between a British and an Iraqi soldier? Don't know? Welcome to the United States air force, son! |
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| Seta | Jul 10 2010, 04:37 PM Post #13 |
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The Right Turn in History
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Wow, really? *eyeroll* |
[align=center]![]() Seta's Wiki | Character Vault | Seta's Theme Song Aut vincere aut mori.[/align] | |
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| Komandr | Jul 10 2010, 04:52 PM Post #14 |
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The Cosmic Healer
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I GET IT I GET IT! Wait... no i don't. |
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| Seta | Jul 10 2010, 05:29 PM Post #15 |
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The Right Turn in History
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I think it might be a shift from the: Don't know the difference between a German and a British soldier? Welcome to the United States Army Air Corp! thereby making it seem like the Americans LOVED to team kill. |
[align=center]![]() Seta's Wiki | Character Vault | Seta's Theme Song Aut vincere aut mori.[/align] | |
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| Adair | Jul 10 2010, 10:01 PM Post #16 |
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I have a joke, but it might offend. In which case if it does, I don't care. Grow a pair.
Q: What do you call five black men standing in the middle of a field? A: Antique farm equipment. And don't pull the "R" card on me. Slavery happened, get over it. |
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<center><SELECT style="background-color: #34282C; color: #717D7D; font-family: Monotype Corsiva; font-size: 14px; width: 200px; "><br /><OPTION>Adair</OPTION><br /><br /><OPTION>Location: Earth</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Power Level: 2,310 / 3,292</OPTION><br /></SELECT></center> <center>Rasta' - Theme Song - Empty</center> | |
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| Gin Tsurugi | Jul 10 2010, 10:03 PM Post #17 |
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Racism or not, there is such a thing as good taste. That joke is not good taste my friend.
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“If you make an ass out of yourself, there will always be someone to ride you." - Bruce Lee “Ever since I was a child I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential.” - Bruce Lee | |
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| Adair | Jul 10 2010, 10:06 PM Post #18 |
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How did Eddy Murphy, George Carlin and other greats, get so great? By telling clean, family friendly jokes? I think not. It's a joke. Now, I'll stop cluttering up this area so we can make way for some more funnies, please. |
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<center><SELECT style="background-color: #34282C; color: #717D7D; font-family: Monotype Corsiva; font-size: 14px; width: 200px; "><br /><OPTION>Adair</OPTION><br /><br /><OPTION>Location: Earth</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Power Level: 2,310 / 3,292</OPTION><br /></SELECT></center> <center>Rasta' - Theme Song - Empty</center> | |
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| Old Gohan | Jul 10 2010, 10:12 PM Post #19 |
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DA BU RA!
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An american army camp in Iraq has a homemade sign out side, it reads: - "Second To None" British troops too have a sign: - "None" ----------------- It made me laugh, Adair. <_< |
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| Adair | Jul 10 2010, 10:19 PM Post #20 |
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<center><SELECT style="background-color: #34282C; color: #717D7D; font-family: Monotype Corsiva; font-size: 14px; width: 200px; "><br /><OPTION>Adair</OPTION><br /><br /><OPTION>Location: Earth</OPTION><br /><OPTION>Power Level: 2,310 / 3,292</OPTION><br /></SELECT></center> <center>Rasta' - Theme Song - Empty</center> | |
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| Gin Tsurugi | Jul 10 2010, 10:20 PM Post #21 |
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Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. |
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“If you make an ass out of yourself, there will always be someone to ride you." - Bruce Lee “Ever since I was a child I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential.” - Bruce Lee | |
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| Komandr | Jul 10 2010, 11:53 PM Post #22 |
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The Cosmic Healer
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| Kain | Jul 11 2010, 12:13 AM Post #23 |
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Priceless...He aint touching that one...and neither would I... |
![]() Even if the morrow is barren of promises Nothing shall forestall my return To become the dew that quenches the land To spare the sands, the seas, the skies I offer thee this silent sacrifice | |
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| Gin Tsurugi | Jul 11 2010, 01:51 AM Post #24 |
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For those of you who haven't seen this (though it's doubtful you haven't if you're a fan of DBZ). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi3qeROYDZc |
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“If you make an ass out of yourself, there will always be someone to ride you." - Bruce Lee “Ever since I was a child I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential.” - Bruce Lee | |
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| Seta | Jul 11 2010, 03:00 AM Post #25 |
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The Right Turn in History
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Damn... wish I could use my sexual jokes up in here... Oh well... I'll go for sexist instead. Someone already got the racist ones covered! If Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara. If John, Brad, Tony and Daniel go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla. -------------------- When the bill arrives, John, Brad, Tony and Daniel will each throw in $20, even though the total is only $34.25. None of them will have any smaller bills and none will admit they want change back. When Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. -------------------- A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, razor, shaving cream, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Motel 6. The average number of items in a woman's bathroom is 328. The average man would not be able to identify most of them. ------------------------------- A woman will dress up when she goes shopping, empties the garbage, answers the phone, waters the plants, gets the mail and reads a book. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. -------------------------------- How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them. ---------------------------------- What did God say when he created Adam? I can do better than this. --------------------------------------- How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer. ----------------------------------------- Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what? ---------------------------------------- What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. ------------------------------------------- A man rubbed a lamp and a genie came out. The man asked to be stronger than any other man. He was given the strength to crush bolders. He asked for the worlds fastest sports car and a ferrari apperared in front of him. He then asked to be smarter than any other every man on the earth. He was turned into a woman. She then said thank you. |
[align=center]![]() Seta's Wiki | Character Vault | Seta's Theme Song Aut vincere aut mori.[/align] | |
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