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| A New Demon | |
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| Topic Started: Feb 9 2011, 12:49 AM (697 Views) | |
| Juggalowarrior | Feb 9 2011, 12:49 AM Post #1 |
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Lurker
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![]() Character you wish to be:Kaizekin Planet you want to start on: Earth Distribute 100 points between Vitality, Speed, Toughness, Stamina, and Strength: speed: 20 Vitality: 20 toughness: 20 stamina:15 Strength 25 Distribute 3 points between Intelligence, Charisma, and Determination: intelligence1 charisma 0 Determination 2 Pick one green fundamental to start with (list here): Kiai How did you find this site: accident What makes you want to join and how long do you plan on staying: IDK (Recommended) AIM Screen Name: nolozers1 (Required) Email Address: same as above (Required) Kaizekin wandered around killing innocent and pathetic humans in a small town. They spoke to him so he killed then gracefully and swiftly. His patience was growing thinner with humanity as he kept on hearing crying. He eyes fixated on the foul wastes of lives. He ran around firing ki blasts into the throats of the elderly and women. He began wearing face paint the more he killed as a symbol of his hatred. His clothing drenched with the blood of his victims. He walked around eating some of his victims and then letting the blood drip from his face. He didn’t care who he killed as long as they gushed out blood like an ocean. He began to howl when the killing began to please him and mocked the human race. His sweat could be smelled miles away as a signal that they were going to die brutally. His thirst for violence and pain never quenched until he would meet a worthy foe. He growled every time a kill was too easy or he was getting enraged. He meaning in life was unknown other then to kill and keep on killing. He despised all things good or pure. He drank the blood from the organs on the victims kicked to death slowly by the hour. He then showered in the victim’s blood of the ones that his brutally murdered and got done eating them. He then smeared the blood on the holy ones around him. He always liked to rub blood on himself after a massive killing spree. He then laughed as a survivor then killed herself and noticed how young she was.He killed women that whined and cried about stupid crap. He always made a huge entrance to add some entertainment for his demonic race. His cold hearted evil nature was feared by all. His sharp nails were used to grab people by a limb and make it more painful. His intelligent thought process was also considered genius by other evil creatures. His body began to scar when he would be attacked by slayers and heroes. But it did not really cause any emotion at all. |
| life is noting but somones toy | |
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| Tambourine | Feb 9 2011, 01:14 AM Post #2 |
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RP with me, dammit!
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Break the wall of text. |
![]() Sig by OldTarble Tambourine's Wiki || Tambourine's Vault Battle Stats Calculator (Bonuses & Fatigue) || Instructions | |
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| Juggalowarrior | Feb 9 2011, 01:43 AM Post #3 |
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Lurker
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howz it now? |
| life is noting but somones toy | |
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| Tambourine | Feb 9 2011, 01:46 AM Post #4 |
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RP with me, dammit!
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The paragraphs (the 1st one at least) are still too massive. Be sure to check it's 300+ words long. |
![]() Sig by OldTarble Tambourine's Wiki || Tambourine's Vault Battle Stats Calculator (Bonuses & Fatigue) || Instructions | |
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| Juggalowarrior | Feb 9 2011, 02:59 AM Post #5 |
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Lurker
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it is 301 words i beleive |
| life is noting but somones toy | |
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| Seta | Feb 9 2011, 03:21 AM Post #6 |
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The Right Turn in History
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It is long enough. Just make nicer paragraphs. And check your grammar. You mixed up whined with wined in the second paragraph at a very quick glance. |
[align=center]![]() Seta's Wiki | Character Vault | Seta's Theme Song Aut vincere aut mori.[/align] | |
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| Juggalowarrior | Feb 9 2011, 03:53 AM Post #7 |
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Lurker
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a lil mo help would be nice i triple check by grammar |
| life is noting but somones toy | |
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| OldTarble | Feb 9 2011, 04:15 AM Post #8 |
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A Transformation Is Underway
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You misspelled your own name... =P |
[align=center]![]() AIM: DragonDeath0 Roster || Vault || Theme The Official Approve My Quest Thread[/align] | |
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| Juggalowarrior | Feb 9 2011, 04:27 AM Post #9 |
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Lurker
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How exactly have i misspell name |
| life is noting but somones toy | |
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| OldTarble | Feb 9 2011, 04:38 AM Post #10 |
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A Transformation Is Underway
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You used an e with that spelling. |
[align=center]![]() AIM: DragonDeath0 Roster || Vault || Theme The Official Approve My Quest Thread[/align] | |
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| Juggalowarrior | Feb 9 2011, 05:47 PM Post #11 |
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Lurker
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well i fixed the damn thing |
| life is noting but somones toy | |
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| X | Feb 9 2011, 10:50 PM Post #12 |
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The True Demonic Saiyan
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WELL WITH THAT KIND OF ATTITUDE! we could be friends. lol. |
“In my battles, there is not a winner or loser. Only a survivor."![]() Rockin Sig by Digu Member of The Ascended Knights: The True Demonic Saiyaknight Wiki|Vault|Theme Song | |
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| Juggalowarrior | Feb 9 2011, 11:32 PM Post #13 |
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Lurker
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friends? |
| life is noting but somones toy | |
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| Gohan | Feb 10 2011, 12:57 AM Post #14 |
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The True Gohan
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Please don't spam the board. If you have any comments post them but no useless crap |
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"Death is only the beginning." Charachter Sheet || Wiki || Theme | |
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| Juggalowarrior | Feb 10 2011, 01:34 AM Post #15 |
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Lurker
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beg pardon i just get stressed under certain situations when makin a character |
| life is noting but somones toy | |
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| Alex | Feb 11 2011, 06:50 PM Post #16 |
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Officer of the Damaskian Army
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You have a lot of sentences that say "he did this" and "he did that." It reads more like a history than an RP. Which reminds me, custom characters also need a separate history. |
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All-time ADBZRPG battle record: 86 - 4 Winner of Best Saga Thread of 2011 (Shard of Lujati) Winner of RP of the Season Summer 2017 (The Village of Kulley) | |
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| Juggalowarrior | Feb 11 2011, 11:15 PM Post #17 |
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Lurker
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it all hiztori |
| life is noting but somones toy | |
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| Vegtea jr | Feb 11 2011, 11:23 PM Post #18 |
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Lurker
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Nice pick. :rolleyes: |
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http://www.alexsdbzrpg.info/account/Smarks23 Theres a time for death....But a place for truth | |
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| Gohan | Feb 11 2011, 11:26 PM Post #19 |
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The True Gohan
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History and RP are two separate things man |
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"Death is only the beginning." Charachter Sheet || Wiki || Theme | |
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| Juggalowarrior | Feb 12 2011, 12:17 AM Post #20 |
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Lurker
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i belief i did both History and RP but consid how doin both is hard i believe i did the best that i can! |
| life is noting but somones toy | |
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| Veritas | Feb 12 2011, 01:45 AM Post #21 |
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Fiery Smexyness
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Ok I'm going to come a bit hard here, but it needs to be done. Whether you 'belief' or not doesn't matter. You have to make an RP sample and a history for your character. The RP sample doesn't have to be directly about your character, its just a demonstration of your abilities, which from what you've shown aren't much though you have potential, if you try a bit harder. I'd suggest you read through this and try again on your roleplay, because with that level of rping skills I doubt Alex will let you in, unless the standards have really dropped... Remember to write a history about your character as well. |
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