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| Sansho; Join form for Sansho | |
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| Topic Started: Feb 19 2011, 12:03 AM (407 Views) | |
| Sansho | Feb 19 2011, 12:03 AM Post #1 |
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Lurker
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Character you wish to be: Sansho (Real character, Demon race) Planet you want to start on: Kanassa Distribute 100 points between Vitality, Speed, Toughness, Stamina, and Strength: VIT: 20 SPD: 20 TGH: 25 STA: 10 STR: 25 Distribute 3 points between Intelligence, Charisma, and Determination: INT: 1 CHA: 0 DET: 2 Pick one green fundamental to start with (list here): Mouth Blast How did you find this site: Googles What makes you want to join and how long do you plan on staying: I've always liked doing this and will stay as long as you'll have me. (Required) Email Address: YoungManTime@gmail.com Sample Roleplay: Sansho had decided earlier to master a basic ki beam on this rainy day. The rain drops hiss and evaporate the moment they land on a powering up Sansho. The energy slowly expands from his body and glows a threatening maroon. He pulls the concentration of energy from the pit of his stomach and moves it up to his chest slowly. As the ki pulls across his chest and down his right arm he focuses even harder. "If I lose my concentration here the energy will fade. Concentrate...concentrate...," He thinks to himself as the energy almost willingly makes its way to his hand. He centers his ki in the palm of his hand and lifts his limb in front of his body. He targets a large boulder in the distance, using his middle finger as a sight, lines up his shot and fires. The maroon beam of ki extends from his palm and pierces the air at a rate that is so fast it suprises Sansho. The beam travels hundreds of yards and greets its target with an explosion and sends the large boulder bursting into dozens of pieces. This was a basic attack, Sansho knew this, but he had long since used his powers and was getting a feel for his rediscovered power. With a smirk Sansho sprints to a stretch of nearby mountains, firing ki beam after ki beam into the top of a mountain starting an avalanche. He stops at the base of the mountain and awaits the avalanche. "This should be a pretty good test," He says to himself. The large rocks and dirt pour with deadly speed. Sansho powers up to his maximum and starts firing ki beams into the rocks that came the closest to him sending fragments hurling in every direction. All of the energy shaking the mountainside suddenly dislodges a gargantuan boulder that starts to tumble its way down picking up speed with every inch. Sansho was too close to dodge this boulder and would surely be crushed by it. He would have to use both hands on this one. The boulder ramps over a large rock and is sent hurling through the air and directly over Sansho's head. With a yell, Sansho forces two ki beams from both hands directly into the middle of the boulder slowing its decent, but definitely not stopping it. The boulder shields the rain from hitting Sansho, this would have been a gift if it didn't have deadly intent leading it. The energy starts chipping away at Sansho's stone obstacle. Sansho decides that this is the time he needs to give it all he has and destroy this boulder or die trying. Sansho let the energy fade as he lowers his hands to let the boulder fall. The boulder inches closer and closer to Sansho and just before impact Sansho raises his hands and put the rest of his energy into a final ki beam. "Heaaaaah," Sansho screams as one big ki beam burst from his hands and pushes its way slowly through the boulder. The boulder rises slowly and explodes with a deafening crack and sends dust and debris flying through the air. As the rocks fall back to the planet like the rain drops that now hit Sansho. Sansho falls to his knees, he was tired, he had used up more of his energy than he had planned to and was now basking in victory and rain. "That was too close," He thinks to himself with a relieved sigh and passes out on the ground. |
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| Veritas | Feb 19 2011, 01:03 AM Post #2 |
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Fiery Smexyness
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If you want to rp in this site, you'll have to learn how to do so in third person. If your not sure how to, check other rps, its basically talking in past tense. ""That was too close," He thinks to himself with a relieved sigh and passes out on the ground." -This is wrong as opposed to ""That was too close," thought Sansho as he gave out a relieved sigh before passing out on the ground." Hope you understand what I'm trying to say, but anyways besides that your dialogue is good, same for grammar, all your missing is placing everything in past tense. |
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| Chaos | Feb 19 2011, 02:40 AM Post #3 |
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The Cosmic Emperor
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Yeah just get a grip on the tense used here and everything else looks pretty good. Welcome to the site. Below, you will find the resident grammer Nazi. |
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| Veritas | Feb 19 2011, 02:54 AM Post #4 |
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Fiery Smexyness
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*cough* site *cough* |
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| Alex | Feb 20 2011, 05:49 PM Post #5 |
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Officer of the Damaskian Army
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I would prefer if you edited your RP sample to reflect the proper tense. |
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All-time ADBZRPG battle record: 86 - 4 Winner of Best Saga Thread of 2011 (Shard of Lujati) Winner of RP of the Season Summer 2017 (The Village of Kulley) | |
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| Alex | Feb 26 2011, 06:11 PM Post #6 |
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Officer of the Damaskian Army
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It seems like a good roleplay so it would be a shame if you gave up. Hopefully you come back to edit this. If you do, PM me and I'll take another look at it. |
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All-time ADBZRPG battle record: 86 - 4 Winner of Best Saga Thread of 2011 (Shard of Lujati) Winner of RP of the Season Summer 2017 (The Village of Kulley) | |
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